The guy sat next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said, “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” I said, “If you think she’s beautiful, you should see my girlfriend mate.” He said, “Why? Is she a stunner?” I said, “No, she’s an optician.”
Went to a club with the wife There was a guy on the dance floor going mental twerking breakdancing,spinning moonwalking, back flips, the lot . My wife turned to me and said, “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.” I said, "By the looks of it he’s still celebrating!”
