Welcome to The Triumph Forum

The World's busiest Triumph Forum. Join this amazing group of people and start discussing the thing that we all love, Triumph Motorcycles.

This made me laugh

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Havit, Sep 23, 2015.

  1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  1. Havit

    Havit Very strange Member

    Jul 17, 2015
    7,356
    800
    Carlow
    A british navy patrol, one of the last ones left, spotted a sailing boat in the english channel. So they closed up on them, boarded and searched the vessel. They just found six pakistanis. Asked what they were doing they replied that they were invading the UK. The officer asked "What-just six of you?" They replied " We're late, the rest of us are already there"
     
    • Like x 12
    • Funny x 5
    • Thanks x 1
    • Cheers x 1
    • Love You x 1
  2. Havit

    Havit Very strange Member

    Jul 17, 2015
    7,356
    800
    Carlow
    I saw a car with a bumper sticker saying:
    "I am a vet, therefore I drive like an animal."
    Suddenly I realised how many gynaecologists there are on the roads today
     
    • Like Like x 12
    • Funny Funny x 11
  3. Dodge74

    Dodge74 Active Member

    Oct 16, 2014
    144
    43
    Lincoln
    Englishman , Irishman & Scotsman walk into a bar , barman looks up & says "is this some kind of a joke ?"
     
    • Like Like x 5
    • Funny Funny x 5
  4. flapinflares

    flapinflares Active Member

    Jan 12, 2013
    146
    43
    Leiestershire
    im selling our waterbed. Message me if interested. me and the wife feel as if we are drifting apart!
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Like Like x 4
  5. Havit

    Havit Very strange Member

    Jul 17, 2015
    7,356
    800
    Carlow
    #5 Havit, Sep 25, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2015
    A old Biker stops at a country pub after a long summer ride . When he goes through the doors, hanging over the bar is a menu.thats says
    Larger £2.00
    HamBurger £2.50
    cheeseburger £3.00
    Chicken Burger £3.50
    Hand Job £50
    There is an exceptionlly Attractive Barmaid serving a couple of old farmers at the bar.
    The Biker checks his wallet to see what funds he has and calls the the Barmaid over.
    "Yes ?" she says with a knowing smile "How can i help you?"
    The old biker leans over the bar "I was wondering youg lady" Then whispers "Are you the one that gives the hand Job?"
    She looks into his eyes and with a big smile says " why yes, i sure am"
    The old biker moves closer to her left ear and whispers "Well,Wash your hands real good because i want a cheeseburger"
     
    • Like Like x 23
    • Funny Funny x 12
  6. thebiglad

    thebiglad Old fart, still riding !

    Sep 25, 2013
    4,258
    800
    Central France
    Wayne, that was a belter !!! Wendy is still chuckling at that even now. :D:D:D:D:D
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  7. thebiglad

    thebiglad Old fart, still riding !

    Sep 25, 2013
    4,258
    800
    Central France
    11987103_975094439177947_3172243071618663652_n.jpg
     
    • Like Like x 8
    • Funny Funny x 5
  8. thebiglad

    thebiglad Old fart, still riding !

    Sep 25, 2013
    4,258
    800
    Central France
    A banker, a worker and an immigrant are sitting at a table with 20 cookies. The banker takes 19 cookies and says to the worker: "Be careful, the immigrant is going to take your cookie."
     
    • Like Like x 8
    • Funny Funny x 4
  9. thebiglad

    thebiglad Old fart, still riding !

    Sep 25, 2013
    4,258
    800
    Central France
    Why did the 999mbytes band fail ?


    Coz they never had a Gig! :oops:
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  10. thebiglad

    thebiglad Old fart, still riding !

    Sep 25, 2013
    4,258
    800
    Central France
    My neighbour is the Guinness World record holder for the person surviving the most concussions in a life time. He's sustained 56 of them.



    He lives just a stone's throw away from me.
     
    • Like Like x 5
    • Funny Funny x 2
  11. thebiglad

    thebiglad Old fart, still riding !

    Sep 25, 2013
    4,258
    800
    Central France
    and then again :

    11947622_838515156261115_5862459177868984355_n.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 6
    • Like Like x 5
  12. crispey

    crispey crispey creme de la creme

    Nov 6, 2014
    5,203
    1,000
    sw london
    Went to Paris last weekend, went for a curry and had the chef's special, frogs leg jalfreizi.



    Had quite a kick to it!
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  13. thebiglad

    thebiglad Old fart, still riding !

    Sep 25, 2013
    4,258
    800
    Central France
    What have a Catholic priest and a pint of Guinness got in common?



    Black coat, white collar, and God help your arse if you get a dodgy one :)
     
    • Like Like x 7
    • Funny Funny x 2
  14. thebiglad

    thebiglad Old fart, still riding !

    Sep 25, 2013
    4,258
    800
    Central France
    I used to be addicted to the hokey cokey, but iv'e turned my life around!:D:D:D:D:D
     
    • Like Like x 2
  15. thebiglad

    thebiglad Old fart, still riding !

    Sep 25, 2013
    4,258
    800
    Central France
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Funny Funny x 1
  16. thebiglad

    thebiglad Old fart, still riding !

    Sep 25, 2013
    4,258
    800
    Central France
     
    • Like Like x 3
  17. crispey

    crispey crispey creme de la creme

    Nov 6, 2014
    5,203
    1,000
    sw london
    I received this as I was working with some Iranians. Had trouble keeping a straight face! image.jpg
     
    • Like Like x 6
  18. thebiglad

    thebiglad Old fart, still riding !

    Sep 25, 2013
    4,258
    800
    Central France
     
    • Like Like x 3
  19. Havit

    Havit Very strange Member

    Jul 17, 2015
    7,356
    800
    Carlow
    a young Married couple walk into Asdas to do there Shopping. As they pass the Wines and drinks he sees a special on Beer, 12 cans for a tenner , So he picks up a case and goes about putting it in the trolly. The wife pulls him up and tells him to put it back " we cant afford it, moneys tight put it back" So reluctantly he puts the beer back and they carry on with their shopping. when they reach the Cosmetics aisle his wife picks up some face cream and puts it in the trolly, "How much is that?" He asks her. "£20" she replys "Put It Back we cant afford it" She then replys " But i need this to make me look Beautiful for you" He replys " So does 12 cans for Beer for a tenner, put it back we`ll get the beer"
     
    • Like Like x 4
    • Funny Funny x 2
  20. thebiglad

    thebiglad Old fart, still riding !

    Sep 25, 2013
    4,258
    800
    Central France
    Or............................

    FB_IMG_1443188036812.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
Loading...

Share This Page