This made me laugh

No good trying to get away from him.

 

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Three men one gay one an alcoholic one a chainsmoker are in a car when they run over a black cat . The cat belongs to a witch who is furious, she spits a curse out . "May you suffer never to enjoy that which you love the most , or you end up like my cat , and be dead also " The men think she's a batty old woman and pull into a pub . The alchoholic has one sip of whisky and falls down dead. The other two leave the pub in shock, suddenly a passing man drops a half smoked ciggarette on the floor . The queer looks at the chain smoker and says "if you bend over to pick that up we're both dead mate.

 

My son said, "I just don't understand girls." I told him, "Don't worry that'll change." "Will it?" "Yes, when you get older, you won't understand women."

 

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