Just looked at the receipt, that £43 for a pitcher of beer and two burger meals !!!! FFS, that would not make me laugh
A man hates his wife"s cat so much he drives to the next town and dumps it. When he gets home, it"s there. Next day he drives 50 miles and dumps it. When he gets home, it"s there. So the next day he drives to the other side of the country and dumps it. One hour later he rings his wife and asks, "is the cat home?" "Yes, why?" asks his wife." Put him on," he says, "I"m fucking lost."
A mother takes her four year old daughter into the bank and the little girl goes up to the counter and says " as I now have a job I would like to open a bank account" the manager replies oh what sort of a job do you have?" The little girl replies " I have a job on a building site" the mother explains that they have builders working on land at the bottom of their garden and the builders have taken a shine to her daughter and let her turn the hose on and off and as she has been so helpful have given her a proper pay packet. " well that's wonderful says the bank manager it's so good to work hard and receive a pay packet, are you working next week?" " yes says the little girl if those bastards from Jewson deliver the fucking bricks on time."
Two businessmen in the centre of London were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some pensioner is going to walk by, put their face to the window, and ask what we're selling." No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious old woman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked, "What are you selling here?" One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling arseholes." Without skipping a beat, the old woman said,“Must be doing well...Only two left.!"
