This made me laugh

The average driver behind your motorcycle:

 

How very dare you?
That's the saviour of the universe you're talking about!

 

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? With a porcupine the pricks are on the outside.

 

My pet alligator loves riding on the back of my Triumph. I was worried about his safety and decided to buy him a helmet.

I guess this one won't do.

 

Took a nice ride this morning. It was cool down in the South Jersey pines.


Me walking in: I had a close encounter with a deer down in the woods.

Wife: You know, you are in your seventies. You're slowing down. Your reflexes aren't what they used to be.

Me: So, what's your point?

Wife: Maybe you should think about selling the bike.

Me: You're starting to sound like my ex-wife.

Wife: You don't have an ex-wife.

Me: Not yet.

 

Dog Lives Matter

 

Accidentally took my cat's meds.
Don't ask meow.

 

I certainly refuse...