An Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball on the tee, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear: "Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any undies?" Her husband demanded. "Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any." The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says. "For the sake of decency, here's £20. Go and buy yourself some underwear." Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she too is wearing no undies. "Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You've no undies. Why not?" She replies. "I can't afford any on the money you give me." He reaches into his pocket and says. "For the sake of decency, here's £10. Go and buy yourself some underwear!" Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it. "Sweet mudder of Jesus, Aggie! Where are yer drawers?" She too explains. "You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any!" The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and Says. "Well, fer the love' O Jesus, here's a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit."
Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me, again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time, "like sitting around in the Garden bar and drinking John Smiths isn't a good thing." She is "only thinking of me," she said, and suggested, I go down to the old folks Centre and hang out with the fellas. I sent her an e-mail telling her I had and that I had joined the Senior Parachute Club. She replied, "Are you nuts? You're 72 years-old and now you're going to start jumping out of airplanes? I told her that I even had a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her. Immediately, she telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses?! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club." "Oh man, am I in trouble," I said, "I signed up for five jumps a week!" The line went dead. Life as a Senior Citizen isn't getting any easier, but sometimes it can be fun to winde the kids up
