What Next From Labour?

Much as we all want a simple answer there isn’t one. ‘It all depends....’

If you are in a Labour seat like Hartlepool (incredibly Peter Mandelson’s old roost) then TBP are probably the main rivals. Ditto somewhere like Normanton, Pontefract and Castleford but maybe the Tories are coming up on the rails. Basically sniff the local wind and, if necessary, hold your nose before voting ‘Least Worst but definitely not THEM’.

This is a pretty open election because, national Polls aside, it will come down to key marginals and most of us don’t live in one. If you do your vote matters more than mine!

 

He’s too busy shouting at his television and the political debates.

 

The Pontefract area, where I was born and bred, has been a Labour stronghold for as long as I can remember. I do wonder though if Yvette Cooper, the sitting MP, is trying to commit electoral suicide by so enthusiastically supporting 'remain' in such a strong 'leave' supporting region, possibly so that she can attempt to follow her husband, Ed Balls, into a career in television - more pay, less hassle (probably). She has certainly upset a lot of folk in that area, so we shall see. It will be one hell of a result if she does get the boot though, so her cunning plan may not succeed!! It will certainly be a "fook my old boots, look at that" moment if she does get beaten.

 

Maybe this should have gone in the "made me laugh thread":-
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election-2019-50585818
Specifically the quote from Paul Johnson that neither party "was being honest" with voters. Well feck me ! who would have thought of that eh ?

 

None of them could lay/lie straight in bed

 

December 13th 6am

Labour win shock election Jeremy Corbyn is British Primeminister

7am

Argentines retake Falklands

8am

Spain take Gibraltar.

9am

Russia cuts all gas supply to UK

10am

France Spain Iceland Norway Sweden Denmark fishing trawlers all turn up and start fishing 500yards from our shores

11am

Dianne Abbott’s alarm clock wakes her up but she was sure she set it for 6am

12midday

Jeremy orders all our borders to open immediately and let all refugees into our country they are given free housing and money.

12.30pm.

Orders the arrest of any soldier still alive that has pointed a weapon at any past enemy to be arrested and thrown into prison for life

1pm

Scrap all nuclear weapons decommission our entire Royal Navy and Air Force and Army

2pm

Evict every English person who has bought their council house
And give their houses to immigrants

3pm

Arrest and execute the entire Royal family
Replace them with the IRA

4pm.

Fly out to Syria for sit down meal with Isis

If Carlsberg did Nightmares they would probably be

THE WORST NIGHTMARES IN THE WORLD

 

This election just keeps getting more ridiculous !

Labour has announced a plan to plant 2 billion trees over the next 20 years. The BBC describes this as “ambitious”.

This would mean more than 270,000 trees being planted every day for 20 years.
Assuming a 7-hour working day that is over 600 trees a minute.
That would require 20,000 people planting trees.
If each tree requires a planting density of say 10 square metres per tree, that is 10,000 trees per square kilometre, so 27 square kilometres-a-day, that is foresting an area the size of the city of Exeter every day for 20 years.
After 20 years some 9.5% of the UK land surface would have to been forested.
The surface area of Britain is 209,331,000,00m², given 13% of Britain is already forest, that means Labour’s tree planting would result in nearly 23% of Britain being forest. Roughly 70% of Britain is currently agricultural land and the remaining 7% of the country is urbanised for human habitation.

My guess is that they will then build treehouses to meet their housing targets....

 

And as they will be introducing a COMPULSORY 32 hour working week, that means they would have to plant 60,096 trees every hour.

 

Two billion trees need 7,500 sq miles I.e. Wales less Cardiff or Swansea. Which one shall we save?

 

Don't forget all the new houses as well so green belt and brown belt will be fighting for space so no countryside just a house everywhere with a tree in front of it.

 

Being fair... 40% of those trees they will just persuade not to fall or be cut down!!!

no wait, that’s the tories I’m thinking about

 

.

 

Maybe this should be on the ‘grin your gears’ thread but I am fed up of ‘commentators’ like ‘Novara Media’ appearing on various news outlets when they are blatant torch bearers for one side or the other ...... and reinforcing the station’s existing bias. I am thinking of those reactionary right wing outlets like Channel 4, the BBC and Sky!
And I am no torch bearer for the other lot; I am just fed up of having my modest intelligence insulted.

 

While I don't want JC or the current Labour Party in power, I'm not a supporter of Boris either (I'm struggling to find anyone I trust to fix the UK's problems). I did like Andrew Neil's challenge to Boris Johnson this evening, especially the last couple of sentences.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/election-2019-50679252

Ouch!

 

John Inman
I’m free
No you’re not
You’re DEAD

 

The choice is simple, it’s not which one of the liars you trust the most. it’s the one, who after 4 years of office, you will be least embarrassed to admitting that you voted the tw@ in!


No, sorry, that still doesn’t help does it?

 

On a festive note

 

How true