This made me laugh

I must be having a senior moment....

 

Turn up the volume.

https://www.reddit.com/r/perfectlyc...t_forget_to_clean_the_dust_under_your_fridge/

 

what you need are those memory foam inserts in your slippers

 

You went in there to fetch me a beer!
(Works on the wife ! )

 

Paddy took two stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow.

The presenter said. "These are a very rare breed. Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in good condition?"

Paddy replied, "Sticks."

 

My missus said to me earlier “if your bored during this lockdown why don’t you make a bird table”
Now she’s got got the right hump and isn’t talking to me because I only put her in fifth place FFS