Today it is exactly 10 years ago that my best mate Steve came bursting out of the bedroom, tears rolling down his cheeks, shouting "it's a boy, it's a boy!".... We never went back to Thailand again.
Stick a pin in the doll for me, wouldst? Got a ruck of parts in the hermes chain. The joys. Bloody hermes courier only delivered half of my Grizzly outfit, I was so annoyed I strangled him with my bear hands.
A Post Office worker at the main sorting office finds an unstamped, poorly hand-written envelope addressed to God. He opens it and discovers it is from an elderly lady, distressed because some thief robbed her of £100. She will be cold and hungry for the rest of the month if she doesn't receive some divine intervention. The worker organizes a collection amongst the other postal workers, who dig deep and come up with £96. They get it to her by special courier the same morning. A week later, the same postal worker recognizes the same hand on another envelope. He opens it and reads: "Dear God, Thank you for the £100. This month would have been so bleak otherwise. P.S. It was four dollars short but that was probably those thieving bastards at the Post Office."
