This made me laugh

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Havit, Sep 23, 2015.

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  1. Cyborgbot

    Cyborgbot Noble Member

    Jul 5, 2017
    559
    443
    Surrey
    There's two answers:

    His - Fcuking great!

    Her's - Very painful and ever so slightly awkward at times - like the 15 hours he spent on my boobs and arse. Do you suppose I might regret this tattoo? I'm having doubts...

    Edit: After scanning the photo again, I am not sure he's a boob and arse man...
    Edit of an edit: I am not sure he's a boob man.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  2. SleepyOwl

    SleepyOwl Senior Member
    Subscriber

    Jul 26, 2019
    569
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    Cornwall
    Hopefully its airbrushing!
     
  3. Big Sandy

    Big Sandy Noble Member

    Nov 14, 2018
    785
    443
    Sutherland, uk
    Did you hear of the guy who goes to the doc cos he's constipated? Doc gives him some laxatives, says "Come see me in three days."



    3 days later... "Have you moved yet?" "No". More tablets... "see me in 3 days".



    This goes on for a month. Until.. "Have you moved yet?" "No, but I'm gunna have to."



    "Why's that?"



    "Cos the house is full of shit...."
     
    • Funny Funny x 7
  4. Cyborgbot

    Cyborgbot Noble Member

    Jul 5, 2017
    559
    443
    Surrey
    Fair point - just reduce the hours spent but the intent might well be the same...
     
  5. Helmut Visor

    Helmut Visor Put on your big boy pants and man up
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    Oct 3, 2018
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    68628211_661458087688778_5341360323037233152_n.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 8
  6. Helmut Visor

    Helmut Visor Put on your big boy pants and man up
    Subscriber

    Oct 3, 2018
    1,524
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    67883326_10157448147056489_5354216556018532352_n.jpg
     
    • Like Like x 3
    • Funny Funny x 2
  7. MrOrange

    MrOrange There is no good cop!
    Staff Member Subscriber

    Oct 28, 2015
    7,540
    1,000
    the Heart of Darkness
    Husband:
    My wife is missing.
    She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home...

    Sergeant at Police Station:
    What is her height?

    Husband:
    I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall?

    Sergeant:
    Weight?

    Husband:
    Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

    Sergeant:
    Color of eyes?

    Husband:
    Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

    Sergeant:
    Color of hair?

    Husband:
    Changes a couple times a year.
    Maybe dark brown now.
    I can’t remember.

    Sergeant:
    What was she wearing?

    Husband:
    Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.

    Sergeant:
    What kind of car did she go in?

    Husband:
    She actually went on my dirt bike...

    Sergeant:
    What kind of bike was it?

    Husband: (sobbing)
    It's a new 2019 Kawasaki KX450 in lime green with a Liquid-cooled, 4-stroke Single engine, 449 cm³ displacement, 96 x 62.1 mm Bore x stroke with Compression ratio of 12.5:1. DOHC 4 valve, Forced lubrication, semi‑dry sump. Front suspension; 49 mm inverted telescopic fork with adjustable compression and rebound damping. Rear; New Uni-Trak with adjustable dual-range (high/lowspeed). Front brakes are Single semi-floating 270 mm petal disc. Caliper: Dual-piston. Rear brakes are Single 250 mm petal disc. Caliper: Single-piston. 5-speed transmission, Primary Reduction Ratio of 2.727 (60/22). Wet multi-disc manual clutch. Perimeter, aluminum frame, 122 mm trail, 305mm front wheel travel, 307 for the rear. Front tyre: 80/100-21 51M and rear 120/80-19 63M. Steering angle, left / right 42° / 42° L x W x H 2,185 x 830 x 1,275 mm Wheelbase 1,485 mm Ground clearance 340 mm Fuel capacity 6.2 litres Seat height 955 mm Curb mass 110.0 kg...
     
    • Funny Funny x 15
  8. Timmy Tucker

    Timmy Tucker First Class Member

    Apr 20, 2019
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    20190814_002928.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 10
  9. Timmy Tucker

    Timmy Tucker First Class Member

    Apr 20, 2019
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    20190814_013828.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 8
  10. Timmy Tucker

    Timmy Tucker First Class Member

    Apr 20, 2019
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    20190814_013907.jpg
     
    • Like Like x 4
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  11. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
    Subscriber

    Blonde wants to send a message to her mother overseas.
    The man told her it would cost £300, but I don't have £300, but I'll do anything to get a message to my mother!
    "Anything?" said the man.
    “Yes, anything,” said the blonde.
    “Follow me,” said the man.
    "Now get down on your knees, pull down my zip, and gently take out my penis"
    She reached in, and gently with both hands held his penis.
    The man closed his eyes, and said, "Well, go ahead!"
    The blonde slowly, brought her mouth closer to his penis, while holding it close to her lips, she whispered…
    "Hello mum, can you hear me?
     
    • Funny Funny x 8
  12. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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    ,

    67874177_2441225082625144_226076478482153472_n.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 6
  13. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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    ,

    67939427_10218019746578594_2749293207090102272_n.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
  14. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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    ,

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    • Funny Funny x 5
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  15. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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    ,

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    • Funny Funny x 7
  16. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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    ,

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    • Funny Funny x 6
  17. Vulpes

    Vulpes Confused Member
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    Mar 14, 2018
    3,687
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    #15527 Yesterday at 11:55 PM :p
     
    • Like Like x 1
  18. SleepyOwl

    SleepyOwl Senior Member
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    Jul 26, 2019
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    .

    84ABBD05-8389-48CA-9558-5383F280B7E5.png
     
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  19. Havit

    Havit Very strange Member

    Jul 17, 2015
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  20. Havit

    Havit Very strange Member

    Jul 17, 2015
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