This made me laugh

A woman who had been in a coma for years was being intimately washed by her nurses, as one of the nurses washed her private parts, they noticed there was a obvious increase to her heart rate, so the nurse washed the area again only for her heart rate to climb again, she was in essence showing signs of improvement.
The nursing home contacted the women's husband and he came over straight away.
After some discussion, one of the nurses suggested that the man should try having oral sex with his wife and so it was agreed.
The nurse pulled the screens round the women's bed and left her husband to it.
After a few minutes the alarm sounds as the women flat lines, the nurses rush in but with all their attempts, they couldn't save her.
One of the nurses asked the man "WHAT HAPPENED!" he turned to her with a tear in his eye and said, "I don't know I think she may have choked !!

 

A man read that you could increase the value of your house by knocking 2 rooms into 1. Now his living room is 15 foot high and he has one less bedroom.

 

One of the greatest challenges a man will ever face Is trying not to look elated when a woman tells you she can't have kids

 

I drove past a gypsy wedding yesterday. I have to say, it was remarkably like the Royal Wedding. Everyone was inbred and the taxpayer is footing the bill.

 

Definition of a Brave Man
The man who comes home drunk,
covered in lipstick and smelling of perfume,
then slaps his wife on the backside and says: "You're next fatty

 

Enjoy some facts about Uranus:

Uranus has a soggy atmosphere, full of gas, mostly comprised of methane.
Uranus is tilted on its side and is blue/green in colour. Might want to go to the doctor about that.
Uranus smells like rotten eggs. That’s the hydrogen sulphide you’re smelling.
Uranus is huge having a diameter of four times the earth.
Uranus produces winds of four hundred miles an hour.
Uranus has rings and a battered moon.
Uranus has a interior of mostly ice, rock and diamonds you might want to have a look inside.
Uranus can be seen with the naked eye. It’s not easy to spot being a bit dark.
Uranus is cold as a prostitute’s heart. -226 degrees Celsius.
Uranus Is to be probed by the EU in 2022.

Hope you enjoyed facts about Uranus.

 

I was laying on my back on a massage table, wearing only a towel over my groin. A young, very attractive Swedish girl was massaging my shoulders, then my chest, and gradually worked her way down my torso. I was getting sexually excited as the masseur approached the towel. The towel began to lift and the Swedish girl arched her eyebrows. "You wanna wank?" she asked. "You bet," came the excited reply. "O.K.," she said. "I come back in ten minutes when you finished."

 

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Cheeky monkey

 

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