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This made me laugh

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Havit, Sep 23, 2015.

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  1. John T

    John T Senior Member

    Jun 4, 2015
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    Didn’t take long

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    • Funny Funny x 10
  2. Dozers Dad

    Dozers Dad Bushmills Chief Quality Controller
    Subscriber

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    • Funny Funny x 8
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  3. Dougie D

    Dougie D Crème de la Crème

    Jan 30, 2016
    3,786
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    Blairgowrie Perthshire
    rest joke.JPG
     
    • Funny Funny x 15
    • Thanks Thanks x 1
  4. Tucker 1963

    Tucker 1963 Elite Member

    Sep 7, 2017
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    • Funny Funny x 7
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  5. GaryM

    GaryM It's him, you know who. Him from you know ....
    Subscriber

    Apr 28, 2016
    938
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    Patna , Ayrshire
    A Cow's Tail

    A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

    Naturally, the Doctor asked him, 'What happened to YOU?'

    'Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our golf balls into a field of cattle..

    We went to look for them and while I was looking around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end.'

    'I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's fanny.

    Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!''

    'I don't remember much after that
     
    • Funny Funny x 18
  6. steve lovatt

    steve lovatt Something else
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    May 12, 2014
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    Hipster Hitler - google him! Bad taste with a contemporary twist! :D
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  7. steve lovatt

    steve lovatt Something else
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    May 12, 2014
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    Just got this card for my brother :D
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    • Funny Funny x 9
    • WTF WTF x 1
  8. crispey

    crispey crispey creme de la creme

    Nov 6, 2014
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    sw london
    At last, confirmation of Murphy's Law with a wonderful Irish explanation

    Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor and it lands butter-side-up.

    He looks down in astonishment, for he knows that it's a law of nature of the universe that buttered toast always falls butter-side-down.

    So he rushes round to the presbytery to fetch Father Flanagan.

    He tells the priest that a miracle has occurred in his kitchen. But he won't say what it is, so he asks Fr. Flanagan to come and see it with his own eyes.

    He leads Fr. Flanagan into the kitchen and asks him what he sees on the floor.

    "Well," says the priest, "it's pretty obvious. Someone has dropped some buttered toast on the floor and then, for some reason, they flipped it over so that the butter was on top."

    "No, Father, I dropped it and it landed like that!" exclaimed Murphy

    "Oh my Lord," says Fr. Flanagan, "dropped toast never falls with the butter side up. It's a miracle. Wait... it's not for me to say it's a miracle. I'll have to report this matter to the Bishop and he'll have to deal with it. He'll send some people round; to interview you, take photos, etc."

    A thorough investigation is conducted, not only by the archdiocese but by scientists sent over from the Curia in Rome. No expense is spared. There is great excitement in the town as everyone knows that a miracle will bring in much need tourism revenue.

    Then, after 8 long weeks and with great fanfare, the Bishop announces the final ruling.

    "It is certain that some kind of an extraordinary event took place in Murphy's kitchen, quite outside the natural laws of the universe. Yet the Holy See must be very cautious before ruling a miracle. All other explanations must be ruled out.

    Unfortunately, in this case, it has been declared 'No Miracle' because they think that Murphy may have buttered the toast on the wrong side!"
     
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  9. dilligaf

    dilligaf The quietest member
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    Mar 30, 2017
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  10. Tucker 1963

    Tucker 1963 Elite Member

    Sep 7, 2017
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    Yep still have a sleep
     
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  11. GaryM

    GaryM It's him, you know who. Him from you know ....
    Subscriber

    Apr 28, 2016
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    Patna , Ayrshire
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    • Like Like x 4
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  12. darkman

    darkman Noble Member

    Oct 26, 2015
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    Southcoast of the UK Earth
    First Russian diplomat expelled from the UK
    [​IMG]
     
    • Funny Funny x 8
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  13. Tucker 1963

    Tucker 1963 Elite Member

    Sep 7, 2017
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    • Funny Funny x 9
  14. Tucker 1963

    Tucker 1963 Elite Member

    Sep 7, 2017
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  15. GaryM

    GaryM It's him, you know who. Him from you know ....
    Subscriber

    Apr 28, 2016
    938
    300
    Patna , Ayrshire
    Ooooo your wife’s not going to be happy with you for that one ;)
     
    • Like Like x 1
  16. Tucker 1963

    Tucker 1963 Elite Member

    Sep 7, 2017
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    • Funny Funny x 7
  17. Tucker 1963

    Tucker 1963 Elite Member

    Sep 7, 2017
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    • Funny Funny x 8
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  18. Tucker 1963

    Tucker 1963 Elite Member

    Sep 7, 2017
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    • Funny Funny x 6
  19. Tucker 1963

    Tucker 1963 Elite Member

    Sep 7, 2017
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    _20180315_175216.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 7
  20. Rooster

    Rooster Noble Member
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    Sep 14, 2015
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