I’ve just bought myself some of that new Fred Flintstone aftershave. It’s strong stuff, you don’t need much……A little dab’ll do.
Proof that opposites attract. My Bureau Her Bureau My Night Table Her Night Table My Workshop Her Workshop
And what does a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? They can both smell it, but not taste it.
Don't get me started on raising girls! I have three. I'd go to shower and nearly get strangled by the forty pairs of stockings draped over the shower curtain drying. It was like I'd entered a nylon jungle! The bathroom sink was clogged. I pulled out the stopper, fished a little hook down the drainpipe and not only pulled out a mass of hair that looked they had stuffed a hamster in there but there were bobby pins, hair pins and, honest to God, a hairclip with hair still attached!
What's wrong with this picture? OOPS! I checked the interweb. True story. In the Battle of the Coral Sea a Japanese pilot inadvertently landed on a U.S. aircraft carrier!
12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio: 1 Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.' 2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.' 3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!' 4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.' 5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my god !! What have I just said??' 6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.' 7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard! 8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.' 9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said: “There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. ' 10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports': “Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.' 11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.' 12.. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.
Another one from Brian Johnstone commentating on an England v West Indies cricket test match :- "The Batsman's Holding the bowlers Willey" The commentary booth descended into uncontrolled laughter (For overseas viewers Michael Holding and Peter Willey were the players involved)
