Arrrrgh me hearties! Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day in the U.S.!! Arrrghuably one of my favorite holidays! What kind of socks do pirates wear? Arrrrrghyle Their favorite fast food? Arrrrghbys Their favorite architectural feat? The Arrrrrgh De Triomphe Their favorite building decoration? Garrrrghgoyles Their favorite holiday? Arrrrghbor Day Favorite continent? You guessed it - The Antarrrrrghtica I could go on, but I'm feeling merciful today.
A man goes into church, and sits in the confessional. He says to the priest "Forgive me father, for I have sinned. Whilst I was on holiday, I cheated on my wife with two 21 year old Russian girls" The priest replies "Take a whole lemon, cut it in half, and squeeze the juice into a glass. Then drink the glass" "Will that purge me of my sins?" said the man. "No" said the priest "But it will wipe the feckin smile off your face"