This made me laugh

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Havit, Sep 23, 2015.

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  1. Dougie D

    Dougie D Crème de la Crème

    Jan 30, 2016
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    Ireland's answer to Dick Emery:)
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  2. MrOrange

    MrOrange Guest

    FB_IMG_1515752446452.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 7
    • Agree Agree x 1
  3. Sprinter

    Sprinter Kinigit

    Aug 17, 2014
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    Cake. IMG_20180112_173846630.jpg
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Useful Useful x 1
    • Creative Creative x 1
  4. Dave C

    Dave C Elite Member

    Dec 22, 2017
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  5. Sprinter

    Sprinter Kinigit

    Aug 17, 2014
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  6. Dave C

    Dave C Elite Member

    Dec 22, 2017
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    • Agree Agree x 1
  7. stollydriver

    stollydriver Elite Member

    Apr 25, 2015
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  8. crispey

    crispey crispey creme de la creme

    Nov 6, 2014
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    I loved the guy in Shorts and t shirt with the shin guards!!
     
  9. GaryM

    GaryM It's him, you know who. Him from you know ....

    Apr 28, 2016
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    Light practically non existent ! Get back in the kitchen Jim and do it right this time ;)
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  10. Dougie D

    Dougie D Crème de la Crème

    Jan 30, 2016
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    Choosing a wife


    A man wanted to get married.
    He was having trouble choosing from three likely candidates, so he
    gives each woman a present of $5,000 and waits to see what they do with it.


    The first does a total makeover.
    She goes to a fancy beauty salon,
    gets her hair done, new makeup;
    buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man.
    She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.

    He was impressed.

    The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos
    for his computer, and some expensive clothes.
    She tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.

    Again, he is impressed.

    The third invests the money in the stock market She earns several times the $5,000.
    She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account.
    She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.

    Obviously, the man was again impressed.

    He thought long and hard about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her.

    Then he married the one with the biggest boobs.

     
    • Funny Funny x 9
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  11. MrOrange

    MrOrange Guest

    That's my electrical problems solved. One of my wires had a split and all the smoke came out. Refilling was difficult but have enough left over for a second use if needed.

    FB_IMG_1515947786229.jpg
     
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    • Like Like x 1
  12. andypandy

    andypandy Crème de la Crème

    Jan 10, 2016
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    In the early days of Google and the Internet, if you put "French military victories" into a Google search it would return the result "did you mean French military defeats ?"
    This is fact not a joke but it was funny at the time.
     
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  13. thebiglad

    thebiglad Old fart, still riding !

    Sep 25, 2013
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    • Agree Agree x 3
    • Drama Queen Drama Queen x 1
  14. Havit

    Havit Admin
    Staff Member Subscriber

    Jul 17, 2015
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    I have to say Dave the french resistance did some great heroic work and saved many Air pilots at high risk to themselves as well as the confusion they caused on the run up to D Day. So i do agree with you. but i can see the funny side of it as much as i do with the Italians who,In my opinion were far more of a joke. :D
     
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  15. thebiglad

    thebiglad Old fart, still riding !

    Sep 25, 2013
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    Absolutely Jez, but it remains hurtful to me when I see the sacrifices made by honest decent French families every time I look at the first & second world war memorials. Three sometimes even four male members of the same killed.

    All I ask for is a little respect.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  16. andypandy

    andypandy Crème de la Crème

    Jan 10, 2016
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    I'm not taking issue with you in any way Dave, I just want to point out that what's on Wikipedia is not necessarily fact. It is made up from written submissions. Wikipedia does not verify those submissions by doing it's own research.
     
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  17. andypandy

    andypandy Crème de la Crème

    Jan 10, 2016
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    And I've visited a village where 800+ where massacred. Was it Oradour-sur-Glane ?
     
  18. TEZ 217

    TEZ 217 Crème de la Crème

    Mar 6, 2016
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    NOW THEN NOW THEN GUYS WE ALL NEED A LITTLE - RESPECT :heart: & LOVE
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  19. andypandy

    andypandy Crème de la Crème

    Jan 10, 2016
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    Apologies for this, I've just got a few minutes spare before I have to go out so I'm just killing time.

    A husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons.
    The husband has his lesson first.
    After the pro sees his swing, he says, "No no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard!"
    "Well, what should I do?" asks the man.
    "Hold the club gently," the pro replied, "just like you'd hold your wife's breast."
    The man takes the advice, takes a swing, and POW! He hits the ball 250 yds. straight up the fairway.
    The man goes back to his wife with the good news, and the wife can't wait for her lesson.
    The next day the wife goes for her lesson.
    The pro watches her swing and says, "No, no, no, you're gripping the club way too hard."
    "What can I do?" asks the wife.
    "Hold the club gently, just like you'd hold your husband's penis."
    The wife listens carefully to the pro's advice, takes a swing, and THUMP. The ball goes straight down the fairway..... about 15 ft.
    "That was great," the pro says with a straight face. "Now, take the club out of your mouth and swing it like you're supposed to!"
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
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