This made me laugh

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Havit, Sep 23, 2015.

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  1. Vulpes

    Vulpes Confused Member
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    [​IMG]
     
    • Funny Funny x 9
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Vulpes

    Vulpes Confused Member
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    [​IMG]
     
    • Funny Funny x 13
    • Face Palm Face Palm x 1
  3. Erling

    Erling Elite Member

    Dec 12, 2017
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    Correction, now it's three.

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    • Funny Funny x 8
  4. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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    AWKWARD BRITISH PROBLEMS,
    Staring at your phone in silent horror until the unknown number stops ringing
    Hearing a recording of your own voice and deciding it’s perhaps best never to speak again
    The relief when someone doesn’t answer their phone within three rings and you can hang up
    Filming an entire fireworks display on your phone, knowing full well you’ll never, ever watch it again
    Mishearing somebody’s name on the second time of asking, meaning you must now avoid them forever
    Leaving it too late to correct someone, meaning you must live with your new name forever
    Running out of ways to say thanks when a succession of doors are held for you, having already deployed ‘cheers’, ‘ta’ and ‘nice one’
    Changing from ‘kind regards’ to just ‘regards’, to indicate that you’re rapidly reaching the end of your tether
    Realising you’ve got about fifty grand’s worth of plastic bags under your kitchen sink
    "You’ll have to excuse the mess” – Translation: I’ve spent seven hours tidying in preparation for your visit
    Indicating that you want the last roast potato by trying to force everyone else to take it
    "I’m off to bed” – Translation: “I’m off to stare at my phone in another part of the house”
    The overwhelming sorrow of finding a cup of tea you forgot about
    Turning down a cup of tea for no reason and instantly knowing you’ve made a terrible, terrible mistake
    Suddenly remembering your tea and necking it like a massive, lukewarm shot
    Waiting for permission to leave after paying for something with the exact change
    Saying hello to a friend in the supermarket, then creeping around like a burglar to avoid seeing them again
    Watching with quiet sorrow as you receive a different haircut to the one you requested
    Being unable to pay for something with the exact change without saying “I think that’s right”
    Overtaking someone on foot and having to keep up the uncomfortably fast pace until safely over the horizon
    Being unable to turn and walk in the opposite direction without first taking out your phone and frowning at it
    Deeming it necessary to do a little jog over zebra crossings, while throwing in an apologetic mini wave
    Punishing people who don’t say thank you by saying “you’re welcome” as quietly as possible
    Loudly tapping your fingers at the cashpoint, to assure the queue that you’ve asked for money and the wait is out of your hands
    Looking away so violently as someone nearby enters their PIN that you accidentally dislocate your neck
    Being sure to start touching your bag 15 minutes before your station, so the person in the aisle seat is fully prepared for your exit
    Repeatedly pressing the door button on the train before it’s illuminated, to assure your fellow commuters you have the situation in hand
    Having someone sit next to you on the train, meaning you’ll have to eat your crisps at home
    The huge sense of relief after your perfectly valid train ticket is accepted by the inspector
    The horror of someone you only half know saying: “Oh I’m getting that train too”
    “Sorry, is anyone sitting here?” – Translation: Unless this is a person who looks remarkably like a bag, I suggest you move it
    Worrying you’ve accidentally packed 3 kilos of cocaine and a dead goat as you stroll through “Nothing to declare”
    Being unable to stand and leave without first saying “right”
    Not hearing someone for the third time, so just laughing and hoping for the best
    Saying “anywhere here’s fine” when the taxi’s directly outside your front door.
     
    • Funny Funny x 7
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  5. xorbe

    xorbe Senior Member

    Jan 27, 2021
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    Legit life pro tips: my Android phone got hit with spammers a couple weeks ago, something awful, ringing off the hook. (1) In the call app settings, choose "auto decline known spam calls". (2) Set default ring tone to silence because half the numbers aren't known spam numbers. (3) Set a custom ring tone for the contacts that actually call you, this is the annoying one as you have to do it for each contact. Goodness only knows why there is no "don't ring if the number isn't known" option.
     
  6. andypandy

    andypandy Elite Member

    Jan 10, 2016
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    Train.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 19
  7. Fork Lock

    Fork Lock Elite Member

    Feb 5, 2021
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    South Jersey, The 51st State
    Cat dog.jpg Pit.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
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  8. darkman

    darkman Crème de la Crème

    Oct 26, 2015
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    Don't you just love the Canadian sense of humour :)
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
  9. xorbe

    xorbe Senior Member

    Jan 27, 2021
    118
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    9cd.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 10
  10. Dave49

    Dave49 Elite Member

    Dec 30, 2019
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    .

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    • Funny Funny x 16
    • Agree Agree x 3
  11. Dave49

    Dave49 Elite Member

    Dec 30, 2019
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    .

    carnivores.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 13
  12. Windy

    Windy First Class Member

    Aug 16, 2019
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    • Funny Funny x 11
  13. Yorkshireman

    Yorkshireman Crème de la Crème
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    Get one with small feet, they can stand closer to the sink. ;)
     
    • Funny Funny x 12
  14. Vulpes

    Vulpes Confused Member
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    [​IMG]
     
    • Funny Funny x 6
  15. Vulpes

    Vulpes Confused Member
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    [​IMG]
     
    • Funny Funny x 15
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  16. DCS900

    DCS900 Careful, man! There’s a beverage here!
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    Sep 11, 2021
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    .

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    • Funny Funny x 17
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  17. Helmut Visor

    Helmut Visor Only dead fish go with the flow
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    Oct 3, 2018
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    I will never complain about my job again :joy::joy:
     
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  18. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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    When you get an electric car to save the planet and a tree decides to kill it.

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    • Funny Funny x 16
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  19. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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    58772.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 13
  20. darkman

    darkman Crème de la Crème

    Oct 26, 2015
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    274269752_10159625150528006_4319950996875160671_n.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 14
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    • Agree Agree x 1
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