A husband and wife are sitting at a bus stop Wife: That is the Archbishop of Canterbury over there Husband: No, I don’t think so. Wife: Go and ask him Husband goes to ask the man if he is the Archbishop Husband: Are you the Archbishop of Canterbury? Man: FUCK OFF! Husband returns to wife Wife: Well, what did he say? Husband: He told me to FUCK OFF! Wife: Oh, I suppose we will never know then. BC
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go." The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back." "Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
My german mate married years ago, and had brand new shoes with price tag below. Couldn't stop laughing, best ceremony ever.
