This made me laugh

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Havit, Sep 23, 2015.

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  1. Erling

    Erling Elite Member

    Dec 12, 2017
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    Sorry about that. At page 1625, I struggle to keep track.
     
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  2. Dave49

    Dave49 Elite Member

    Dec 30, 2019
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    #31982 Dave49, Jan 21, 2022
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2022
    Talking about Robert Burns, my last post was a joke, but this is a true story. Some years ago, I was having a quiet lunchtime pint with a mate in the Globe Inn in Dumfries. Situated up a narrow close off the High Street, the Globe was a favourite haunt of Burns in his last years when he lived in the town. Anyway, while we were there, a coachload of loud American tourists arrived. After a few minutes, one called to his friend a few feet away: "Say, Ted, do you know any of Burns' poems?", and his friend replied: "No, just the one that goes 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe..."
    We nearly choked on our pints.
     
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  3. Fork Lock

    Fork Lock Elite Member

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    Knight.PNG
     
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  4. Fork Lock

    Fork Lock Elite Member

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    #31984 Fork Lock, Jan 22, 2022
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2022
    I see on another thread tributes to Meatloaf, who passed today. We also lost Louie Anderson, a great comic. I remember one of his bits about his father driving because it was so true. My father did the exact same thing!

    Anyone going slower than my father - "Look at this idiot."
    Anyone going faster than my father - "Look at this asshole."
     
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  5. Golgotha

    Golgotha Guest

    Nor should you feel the need to at this point.
     
  6. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
    Subscriber

    Stole this from the comments in the Mail.

    1) "I've seen no evidence of blackmail." 2) "There might have been SOME blackmail, but I knew nothing about it and whatever blackmail took place was technically within the rules." 3) "I authorised the use of bullying and intimidation that was technically within the rules". 4) "I both authorised and used blackmail that was not within the rules, but didn't know it was not within rules." 4) I apologise to the Nation, to the Queen (who I also tried to blackmail), to my known and unknown children, but I kindly ask that you refrain from further questions until a full internal inquiry has taken place to see whether I technically broke any rules or not.
     
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  7. Vulpes

    Vulpes Confused Member

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    WhatsApp Image 2022-01-21 at 23.39.17.jpeg
     
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  8. Vulpes

    Vulpes Confused Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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  9. Erling

    Erling Elite Member

    Dec 12, 2017
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    As a sea kayaking Norwegian – photo evidence below, and please don’t miss the poor sods in the background that I’m supposed to be coaching, some of whom already in the water – I ask you this:

    Q: What’s the difference between a Norwegian and a kayak?
    A: The kayak will sometimes tip.

    Erling instruktør 1.JPG
     
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  10. Octoberon

    Octoberon Crème de la Crème

    Jul 2, 2020
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    I'll bear that in mind. :D
     
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  11. Dawsy

    Dawsy Cumbrian half-wit
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    Aug 24, 2018
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    IMG-20220122-WA0006.jpg
     
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  12. Dougie D

    Dougie D Crème de la Crème

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    lid.PNG
     
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  13. Dougie D

    Dougie D Crème de la Crème

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    fishn.PNG
     
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  14. Dave49

    Dave49 Elite Member

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    I had one of those: they're rubbish helmets. I binned it eventually.
     
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  15. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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    .

    272150802_1372594086591988_5998836701489471389_n.jpg
     
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  16. Baza

    Baza Elite Member

    Jul 25, 2020
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    Are you hinting that there is some connection between Norway and Scotland?
     
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  17. Dave49

    Dave49 Elite Member

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    Of course there is. Kayaking is quite popular in both countries.
     
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  18. Vulpes

    Vulpes Confused Member

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    227A7C95-EA7B-4BA1-BF1B-18230A9EFAE5.jpeg
     
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  19. DCS900

    DCS900 Careful, man! There’s a beverage here!

    Sep 11, 2021
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    Ahhh, Duck tape… the one sex product guaranteed to turn a “No, no, nooo!!!” Into a “Mm, mm, mmmm!!!”
     
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  20. Fork Lock

    Fork Lock Elite Member

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    #32000 Fork Lock, Jan 23, 2022
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2022
    HH 2013 001.JPG HH 2013 008.JPG HH 2013 002.JPG
    This is so true! "Want to go get a burger?" was motorcycle code talk among my mates for a ride up to The Halfway House in Ravena, NY - 250 miles away. Owned by a friend of ours (Moose), the Halfway House was Mecca for a bunch of us from all over the East Coast and points North and West. Partied hardy there!!! Moose is now Mayor of Ravena and has to act respectable.
     
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