This made me laugh

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Are you nearly there yet?

 

Are you nearly there yet?

 

I read this morning that 58 is too old to still be living with your parents.
It was on a note, pinned to my bedroom door!

 

Reminds me of an art installation in Italy (Montepulciano iirc) which was a well, which you’d go and peer into... but in the bright Tuscan sun, it was hard to see into the dark depths... you’d put your shades atop of your noggin and peer into the gloom for a better look, but in the bottom of it were hundreds of sunglasses... making you immediately check your glasses were secure.

 

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[dejavu][pedant]Register[/pedant][/dejavu]

 

An English doctor is being shown around a Scottish hospital. At the end of his visit, he's shown into a ward with a number of patients who show no obvious signs of injury. He goes to examine the first man he sees, and the man proclaims:-

"Fair fa' yer honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain o'the puddin' race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place, painch tripe or thairm:
Weel are ye worthy o' a grace as lang's my arm...."

The doctor, being somewhat taken aback, goes to the next patient, who immediately launches into:-

"Some hae meat, and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
And sae the Lord be thankit."

This continues with the next patient:-

"Wee sleekit cow'rin tim'rous beastie,
O what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty, wi bickering brattle
I wad be laith to run and chase thee, wi murdering prattle!"

"Well," said the Englishman to his Scottish colleague, "I see you saved the psychiatric ward for last."

"No, no, no," the Scottish doctor corrected him, "this is the Burns Unit."