This made me laugh

How does he get her to do that? Stuff a chip up his arse and shout ‘grubs up’?

 

You seem to have all the answers there. It's not you in the picture is it?

 

I'm french, and I know quite well Sunderland (usually go there at least once a year) .. and will continue to avoid dark streets

 

I see a lovely pair of baps.

 

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Presumably with a bearetta

 

Take him for a walk beside the canal...

 

Oiling to preserve.....

 

While on the subject, the Swedish author Fritiof Nilsson "Piraten" had his inscription ready well in advance. All that was left for his bereaved family, was to insert the date. Please note that the text does not include the author's name.
The inscription roughly translates into:
"Here below are the ashes of a man who had the habit of putting everything off until tomorrow. But in his last days he improved, and did actually die on January 31, 1972."

 

Or a brown ing….

 

I’m in Suffolk and the Potholes up here are so big the gulls are fishing in them….

 

Yes

 

Once a Carpenter, Always a Carpenter