Redneck doorbell (quite like the bottle opener on the outside wall too, makes chugging a rack on your porch much easier)
I need to re-home a dog. It's a small terrier, and tends to bark a lot. If you're interested, let me know and I'll jump over next door's fence and get it for you
I wonder if any Policeman has ever managed to keep a straight face while telling a woman she has the right to remain silent.
Three Bikers, a Honda Rider, a BMW Rider and a Triumph Rider were sitting in a sauna. Suddenly, there was a continuing beeping sound. The Honda Rider pressed his forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. “That was my new Honda pager, “he said, “I have a micro chip under the skin of my arm.” A few minutes later a phone rang. The BMW Rider lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, “That was my BMW mobile phone. Its micro chipped into my hand.” The Triumph Rider felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his arse. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him. The Triumph Rider finally declared… “Well, will you look at that, I’m getting a fax!”
Just been reading in my local paper that a youngster of 14 has been arrested for throwing 'Domestos' over the local vicar,this is horrific news.............but he has finally been charged with 'Bleach of the priest'
My mate said, "I like your car." I said, "It's not very practical now we've got a baby." He said, "How about I buy it off you." I said, "Yeah go on then. Three grand?" He said, "You've got yourself a deal." I said, "Nice one... you're going to make a brilliant dad."
Police have arrested 2 men, 1 caught stealing car batteries and 1 caught stealing fireworks. They have charged one and let the other one off.
