This made me laugh

I'm not saying I'm a pervert or anything.. But if I stopped paying the subscription fees on all the specialist porn sites I use, I could probably afford an albino midget of my very own.

My girlfriend wanted me to buy her a Siamese cat. My mate told me that they are really expensive, So I've bought 2 normal cats and glued their heads together.

I like my women like I like my Whisky. 16 years old and mixed up with coke.
*Disclaimer* : This is just a joke, i do not condone the practice of mixing good Whisky with coke.


I went on a rollercoaster and the woman next to me wouldn't stop screaming. Seriously, it was like she'd never seen a penis before!

 

I arranged a threesome a while back.

I had two no shows but I still had a fuckin' great night.

 

This is a true story:
A friend of mine is a passionate fly-fisher.
One day, he was searching the internet for a new pair of rubber-waders.
On ebay he was sucessful after only a few minutes...
...until he read the description:
Among other pertinent information it said there: "Worn only to a few parties..."

 

My pal who had an engineering business was looking for a special type of screw,this was when the internet was in it's infancy..he typed in Indian black screws or black Indian screws can't remember exactly you can imagine what popped up

 

Again in the early days of the Internet. I was after a pair of Ice Hockey Skates, and my Aunt was coming over from the states, at the time the exchange rate was very favourable and they were 1/2 the price over there, than what we had to pay.
My dad had to go on-line and look up a shop called Sports Exchange.
So he goes into work and types in www.sportsexchange.com - the early days of Internet, the filters picked this up (remember Scunthorpe) and reported him to headquarters of his business !!! He then had to explain, that no, he was not going to do a 'HAVIT' and have his bits chopped off in some kind of sporting manner !!!!

 

Y

Yeah right mate '

 

God damn it!! Just clicked that Amazon link and now it has saved the result in my Work Amazon history which is shared with my assistant!!!
God help me with targeted advertising from Amazon searches too

 

I'll wait till I'm not at school to open that LINK !!!!

 

BLACK dildo? Shouldn't this be in POLITICS ?

 

You mean Mister!?

 

VILE woman!!!

 

And because apart from being pig ugly anyway, she is racist against the indigenous white species of these islands!

 

What else do you expect from those bloody trouble causing German's !!!

 

It's Poland all over again

 

SNITCH!

They all must have loved you at school...