A Yorkshire Dale farmer was walking through his fields one morning when he saw a man drinking from a stream. He shouted out to the man - 'I wouldn't drink from there mate - it's full of hoss piss and cow shite'. The man shouts back - 'I'm from London - with your accent I can't tell a word you say!' The farmer says very loudly and clearly - 'I SAID - IF YOU USE BOTH HANDS YOU WON'T SPILL AS MUCH!'
