Rant of the day

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Havit, Sep 10, 2016.

  1. tcbandituk

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    You might be thinking of the wrong meaning of the word 'member' in this forum.....;):D
     
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  2. Cyborgbot

    Cyborgbot Guest

    yes, but...

    a first class ‘member’ could have hidden meanings...

    Edit: tcb could have already highlighted the negative connotations of being a first class member and that it might reinforce your peasant status.

    Edit number 2: we love you regardless of how crusty you are!
     
    #2242
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  3. Adie P

    Adie P Crème de la Crème

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    ............. and ...... BREATHE ..............
     
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  4. Bad Billy

    Bad Billy Baddest Member

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    Nice to see I haven't lost my touch in talking you down off that ledge then! :rolleyes:

    I tried, I really did, to make you see that whatever you say or do, your kids (once they are adults) will do exactly what they are gonna do regardless of what you think. :dizzy:

    Sometimes, they work these things out for themselves, if this guy is that bad, she may well work it out for herself, one thing for sure though, she won't change her view just because you want her to.

    I have called you local Wall-mart with a description of you advising that they don't sell you any bleach, cable ties, plastic sheeting or duct tape! :scream:o_O:eek::p
     
    #2244
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  5. Timmy Tucker

    Timmy Tucker Elite Member

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    @Ron Ashurst

    Hi Ron here is a song you might like
    To keep you calm on your little ride outs. :p:p:p
     
    #2245
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  6. Old phart phred

    Old phart phred Noble Member

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    Hi ron - have a 5 lb package of Haribro sugar free gummy bears delivered to him, nobody can eat just one. Because he sounds like a shitehead. Google it.
     
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  7. Bad Billy

    Bad Billy Baddest Member

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    Well if my "panties" o_O are 2 sizes smaller than your daughters :eek: .... then she's a big girl matey! :scream:

    But as ever @Dozers Dad has given you a brilliant solution, he scored straight A's in the how to be devious exams.:grinning:

    FYI - He also got straight A's in the how to be a deviant advanced diploma! :joy:
     
    #2247
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  8. Biker Jock

    Biker Jock Senior Member

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    Perhaps they didn't tell you because... well... how can I put this... errmm... cough... maybe... errmm... you see... errmm... perhaps...

    No, can't say it - too scared my laptop will explode.

    It does sound like a pretty shit situation and I can see why you are not best pleased (bit of an understatement there?).

    I love my daughter, but we don't get along well. Both born in Chinese years of the Tiger, and two tigers shouldn't live in the same house. But, age 29 and she's still living at home, and we constantly circle each other, growling menacingly. I'd like some guy to take her on, and if I was last to know about it, fine. If he is a bit of a dork, that's ok. And if the ring is plastic and came from last year's Christmas cracker, I could live with that. Just as long as she's happy and I'm no longer having to put up with her extreme untidiness, sloth and unwillingness to contribute in any way to running the house. And she wouldn't have to put up with me nagging and tidying up her artwork so I can have dinner at my table or sit on my settee.

    I guess that's the key - will she be happy. It's hard if you believe he's really wrong for her. Over the years there have been a few boyfriends that I've thought, "what the hell has she just brought into our house?". But as time passes, I wonder if one or two might have scrubbed up and not been quite so bad after all.
     
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  9. stinger

    stinger Senior Member

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    Ron, begging for knickers, man up! Go the the shops buy a pair. If you need the "lived in" look, stick them on one of your ferrets

    :p
     
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  10. Biker Jock

    Biker Jock Senior Member

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    My wife has two sisters, one married a Spaniard and the other a Frenchman (both now long divorced). We were engaged before I met my future father-in-law for the first time. We shook hands, then he turned to his daughter and said, "are there no decent Englishmen out there? One has married a Spaniard, one is dating a Frenchman. But worst of all, you're engaged to a bloody Scotsman! What are you thinking of?"

    It took me a long time to realise that was his sense of humour. He was a decent and generous man, who had seen action in WWII, and had had a few close calls. He didn't suffer fools, and to him, I must have seemed like a vaguely hippy waste of space.
     
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  11. Biker Jock

    Biker Jock Senior Member

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    You could be right, I'll never know for sure now. His first wife, my late mother-in-law, was Scottish, so it could have been a general aversion to Scots brought on by his failed marriage to one.
     
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  12. Biker Jock

    Biker Jock Senior Member

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    I know that, and no offence taken...

    ...and you could still be right.
     
    #2252
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  13. Old phart phred

    Old phart phred Noble Member

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    As far as i know, nobody has ever been prosecuted for the haribo sugar free gummy bear revenge, if he's full of shite it might just do him in, or weaken his immune system past the point of no return. Either way it cannot be forgotten, and he may not realize what the cause was and do it again! Well documented.

    https://www.buzzfeednews.com/amphtm...ar-reviews-on-amazon-are-the-most-insane-thin
     
    #2253
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  14. Sandi T

    Sandi T It's ride o'clock somewhere!

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    Speaking of mysteries and back to the brown recluse (and panty) idea....

    How about using an Indian swamp adder like the one in the Sherlock Holmes short story, "The Adventure of the Speckled Band"? Or perhaps I could send you a baby diamondback rattlesnake, Ron? In fact, you could put the rattler in the two-sizes-smaller panties. A double whammy. The whole things sounds like one big cluster.
     
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  15. Bad Billy

    Bad Billy Baddest Member

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    I wanted to hit funny & creative there Ron! :p
     
    #2255
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  16. Cyborgbot

    Cyborgbot Guest

    Travelling here (to the UK) with an A1 Diplomatic Passport...

    Just in case you run over/into a native Brit.
     
    #2256
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  17. MadMrB

    MadMrB Elite Member

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    Stuff that doesn't work! - A couple of weeks ago I got a couple of pest/insect repellents for the house and garage, due to the number of spiders....

    Insert_Repellent.jpg

    That's working well then!! :grinning:
     
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  18. stollydriver

    stollydriver Elite Member

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    Maybe that's a deaf spider..:mask:
     
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  19. andypandy

    andypandy Crème de la Crème

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    Horse chestnuts (conkers) taken out of their outer green shells and spread around your house should get rid of spiders. Now's the time for conkers and autumn is the time for spiders to come into your warm house.
     
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  20. andypandy

    andypandy Crème de la Crème

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    Spiders live under your bed. Waiting for you to go to sleep then they come out and crawl all over you.
     
    #2260
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