There was a Young Man from Kent Whose Rod was so long it bent. So to save himself trouble He bent it in double, And instead of coming – he went! There once was a man from Bel Air Who was doing his wife on the stair But the banister broke So he doubled his stroke And finished her off in mid-air A strange young fellow from Leeds Rashly swallowed a package of seeds. Great tufts of fine grass Sprouted out of his ass And his balls were covered with weeds. There once was a man from sprocket Who went for a ride in a rocket The rocket went bang His balls went clang And he found his dick in his pocket! There was a young man from Brighton Who thought he’d at last found a tight ‘un. He said, “Oh my love, It fits like a glove.” Said she, “But you’re not in the right ‘un.” There was a young girl of Cape Cod Who thought babies were fashioned by God, But ’twas not the Almighty Who hiked up her nightie – ‘ Twas Roger, the lodger, by God! There once was a man from madras Whose balls were made of brass In stormy weather They clang together And sparks fly out of his ass! There was a young maid from Madras Who had a magnificent ass; Not rounded and pink, As you probably think – It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass. There was a young sailor named Bates Who danced the fandango on skates. But a fall on his cutlass Has rendered him nutless, And practically useless on dates.
Alternative ending to verse 4 from above:- There once was a man from sprocket Who went for a ride in a rocket The rocket went bang His balls went twang ! And landed in his pocket!
A boy stood on the burning deck A pocket full of crackers A spark went up his trouser leg And blew away his knackers.
Little Bo Peep had sold herself cheap and most of the Shepherds had laid her, she swore to three Vicars she'd keep on her knickers but the grass on her arse betrayed her.
There was a young man from Great Horton Who had an incredibly short 'un To make up for this loss He had balls like a hoss And a stroke like a 500 Norton
There was a young man named Zuber Found a girl and wanted to tube her But so knotted her patch So tangle her thatch He used a goober to lube her
This is from a Jethro joke of a teacher asking her class to write a poem including the word Timbuktu, young Mary, the class goodie goodie's poem was. As I was walking on the sand, I saw a ship not far from land, It had a very handsome crew, It's destination Timbuktu. After congratulating Mary the teacher asks young Timmy, the class scally wag to stand up and read his, to which he replies. Me and Tim went down to Kent, We met three girls in a tent, There wasn't much else to do, So I bucked one and Tim bucked two.
Mary had a little lamb and she couldn't stop it grunting she took it down the garden path and kicked its fncking cnnt in.
The rich man has a watch of gold To the poor man times uncanny, The prostitute has no watch at all, she tells time with her fanny.
my cousin billy had a ten foot willy and he showed it to the girl next door she though it was a snake so she hit it with a rake and now its only five foot four
there was a young man from belgrave who found a dead whore in a cave he said it isnt disgusting she just needs a dusting and think of the money i’ll save.
There was a young lass from Ardglass Who reclined with a monk on the grass. She lifted his smock And tickled his cock Till it foamed like a bottle of Bass.
