Poetry, Slightly Rude.

Discussion in 'Triumph General Discussion' started by David Cooper, Dec 17, 2018.

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  1. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
    Subscriber

    There was a Young Man from Kent
    Whose Rod was so long it bent.
    So to save himself trouble
    He bent it in double,
    And instead of coming – he went!

    There once was a man from Bel Air
    Who was doing his wife on the stair
    But the banister broke
    So he doubled his stroke
    And finished her off in mid-air

    A strange young fellow from Leeds
    Rashly swallowed a package of seeds.
    Great tufts of fine grass
    Sprouted out of his ass
    And his balls were covered with weeds.

    There once was a man from sprocket
    Who went for a ride in a rocket
    The rocket went bang
    His balls went clang
    And he found his dick in his pocket!

    There was a young man from Brighton
    Who thought he’d at last found a tight ‘un.
    He said, “Oh my love, It fits like a glove.”
    Said she, “But you’re not in the right ‘un.”

    There was a young girl of Cape Cod
    Who thought babies were fashioned by God,
    But ’twas not the Almighty Who hiked up her nightie – ‘
    Twas Roger, the lodger, by God!

    There once was a man from madras
    Whose balls were made of brass
    In stormy weather They clang together
    And sparks fly out of his ass!

    There was a young maid from Madras
    Who had a magnificent ass;
    Not rounded and pink, As you probably think –
    It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.

    There was a young sailor named Bates
    Who danced the fandango on skates.
    But a fall on his cutlass
    Has rendered him nutless,
    And practically useless on dates.
     
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  2. Callumity

    Callumity Elite Member

    Feb 25, 2017
    3,358
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    Nr Biggar
    Vintage smut!
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
  3. andypandy

    andypandy Crème de la Crème

    Jan 10, 2016
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    Shaw
    Alternative ending to verse 4 from above:-

    There once was a man from sprocket
    Who went for a ride in a rocket
    The rocket went bang
    His balls went twang !
    And landed in his pocket!
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  4. Yorkshireman

    Yorkshireman Crème de la Crème

    Dec 12, 2015
    3,401
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    A boy stood on the burning deck
    A pocket full of crackers
    A spark went up his trouser leg
    And blew away his knackers.
     
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  5. darkman

    darkman Crème de la Crème

    Oct 26, 2015
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    Little Bo Peep had sold herself cheap and most of the Shepherds had laid her, she swore to three Vicars she'd keep on her knickers but the grass on her arse betrayed her.
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
  6. MattP

    MattP Active Member

    Feb 27, 2018
    107
    43
    Leeds
    There was a young man from Great Horton
    Who had an incredibly short 'un
    To make up for this loss
    He had balls like a hoss
    And a stroke like a 500 Norton
     
    • Funny Funny x 7
  7. mglemans86

    mglemans86 New Member

    Dec 20, 2018
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    3
    Florida, USA
     
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  8. mglemans86

    mglemans86 New Member

    Dec 20, 2018
    18
    3
    Florida, USA
    There was a young man named Zuber
    Found a girl and wanted to tube her
    But so knotted her patch
    So tangle her thatch
    He used a goober to lube her
     
  9. Dave C

    Dave C Elite Member

    Dec 22, 2017
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    #9 Dave C, Dec 22, 2018
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2018
    This is from a Jethro joke of a teacher asking her class to write a poem including the word Timbuktu, young Mary, the class goodie goodie's poem was.

    As I was walking on the sand,
    I saw a ship not far from land,
    It had a very handsome crew,
    It's destination Timbuktu.

    After congratulating Mary the teacher asks young Timmy, the class scally wag to stand up and read his, to which he replies.

    Me and Tim went down to Kent,
    We met three girls in a tent,
    There wasn't much else to do,
    So I bucked one and Tim bucked two.
     
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  10. darkman

    darkman Crème de la Crème

    Oct 26, 2015
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    Mary had a little lamb and she couldn't stop it grunting she took it down the garden path and kicked its fncking cnnt in.
     
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  11. Sprinter

    Sprinter Kinigit

    Aug 17, 2014
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    The rich man has a watch of gold
    To the poor man times uncanny,
    The prostitute has no watch at all, she tells time with her fanny.
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
  12. Sprinter

    Sprinter Kinigit

    Aug 17, 2014
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    my cousin billy had a ten foot willy
    and he showed it to the girl next door
    she though it was a snake
    so she hit it with a rake

    and now its only five foot four
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
  13. darkman

    darkman Crème de la Crème

    Oct 26, 2015
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    48390604_2212191645669062_4981187535280537600_n.jpg
     
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  14. Sprinter

    Sprinter Kinigit

    Aug 17, 2014
    6,026
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    there was a young man from belgrave
    who found a dead whore in a cave
    he said it isnt disgusting
    she just needs a dusting
    and think of the money i’ll save.
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
  15. dilligaf

    dilligaf Guest

    A rich girl uses Vaseline
    A poor girl uses Lard
    Wor lass uses Axle Grease
    Because her c#nts so Hard:eek:
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
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  16. Rich Bryce

    Rich Bryce Dead Eye Dick

    Sep 18, 2015
    2,987
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    There was a young lass from Ardglass
    Who reclined with a monk on the grass.
    She lifted his smock
    And tickled his cock
    Till it foamed like a bottle of Bass.
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
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