On my way to a mates for a brew on my SR 500 I turned into his road to see two young ladies walking towards me. Trying to impress them I hoisted a wheelie-cool! Then realised I was heading straight for his car with no room for braking. Snapped the throttle shut, grabbed the front brake and slid along the road on my arse stopping just short of his car. He heard all the scraping, opened his door, saw what happened and calmly said "I'll put the kettle on!" I never looked at the young ladies
My first time riding on a dirt road ! Up a steep hill , had to turn around as the road ended, just shy of the summit/top. So I did the usual. Lean right and begin my turn !! Only thing was ... Too slow .. Too loose a surface ... ! So bike and I did a perfect impression of Humpty Dumpty and did an egg roll down the hill ! With all the Kings men watching , well at least a dozen mate's who almost all rolled over laughing , only my pride and a few bruises , I'd managed to fall under the bike and save it from damage. Glad it was a smallish and lite Honda cb 500 !!
Ran into the back of a truck while looking at a girl in a car. Setting at a stop light getting ready to make a right turn on red…girl in a Fire Bird turning left…GOOD LORD this girl was smoking hot. Anyway, truck turns and maybe 100’ past the corner is an entrance into a McDonald’s (which he is turning into). I get to the corner and notice the girl as she’s turning, I’m looking at her to the point I’m turn almost backwards on the seat, the whole time accelerating…not a lot but some. I turn around to see the truck stopped in the road waiting to turn…I just catch the right edge of the bumper…down I go. Other than ego, a broken mirror and bent crash bar…no damage. I get the bike up to the side of the street and the guy comes walking across…asks if I’m ok…next thing out of his mouth…man that girl was smoking hot. Happened close to 40 years ago…seems like yesterday.
This all reminds me of my Uncle who drove a Milk Tanker. He was staring at two mini skirted ladies and drove straight through a shop front. His court case was written in the local papers as one look costs driver x amount of fines. Joe.
Tried to bump start the old bike after the battery gave up at a petrol station and lost balance, the bike went down to the right and the foot peg caught my trousers at the ankle and chucked me up in the air and on my arse. Got up and turned around to a full courtyard... excellent
Another embarrassment , my Honda CB 500 , clutch cable broke ! This was OK as I'd realised it in good time as soon as it happened ! Embarrassing moment happened some ten or so minutes later , I'd worked out how to start/take off from a standing Start at stop signs and red lights OK. But got it all wrong , when I was about six or so vehicle's back from the lights. Light's changed , I pushed bike forward , stood beside bike in neutral, f/brake on until I began my push , got up sufficient speed , hopping on whilst engaging FIRST ! Twisted throttle a bit TOO hard as I slipped on the slight up hill slope !!! Bike took off with me mid stumble trying to Chase it down ...! It got 10-15 feet away before I got close enough to grab the seat, - keeping it upright I scramble aboard like a monkey on a piece of children's playground equipment . Got about 100 witnesses , some cheered , some just honked their horn's. Got home five minutes later still Red Faced , but bike unsullied by any further performances of monkey acrobatics !!!
Not my embarrassing moment , many years ago , a friend on a 900 BMW boxer twin , crashed his bike in the following manner. His ride home from work in Brisbane took him on a country road , the road was very windy and had several blind narrow corner's. He was navigating one of these, a tight left that immediately swung right just before crossing a single lane wooden bridge ! He was going at his normal speed - flat out - so 60 or 70 mph (100/110 kph) came round the lefty , looked right & fark a truck. He saw a track just left of bridge entryway , he took it , roared down the bush track down the embankment hitting the river full tilt ... Water skiing on the cylinder barrels across 20 or so feet of river water. Came to a stop at the base of the opposite bank. Put his feet down in shock and disbelief. Engine was silent , he thought I've stalled ... So he gets it into neutral and hits the starting button .... Nothing. Looking down he discovers why , the head's and barrels had simply shattered , too hot then too cold ! He survived uninjured but not the bike . Took a full engine rebuild with many new part's . Barrels, pistons, head's to name but a few of the obvious, he earned the Nickname , Jet Ski
That thought crossed my mind too. Wow if bikes ran on piss they wouldn’t be able to produce enough Guinness to keep up. Ooh my poor liver
Pulled into a full petrol station on my modified Ducati M944 looking all super cool with my nephew on the back when I was young. Gave the throttle a blip to make sure everyone knew how cool I looked, then I caught my boot on the peg bolt and could not move my foot out, and slowly the bike started to go over on that side and we fell on the floor. As I lay on the floor with the bike on my leg my boot finally came unhooked. No damage to anything apart from pride. The other time was my first outing on my Vespa 125. Went to a see a mate and revved it up. As I did that the clutch cable snapped and we flew across the road and crashed into the kerb. Nice. Basically whenever I do something to show off, it ends up bad - happed all my life. Its like I have some form of sprint stoping me from doing it and it keeps me humble and my feet on the ground - not a bad thing I suppose.
Peeps These are fantastic tales everyone admitting to their ill-fated rides. You know i thing we should get someone like @Sandi T to write us a novel about all of them. It would be a best seller and show the world just how Human we really all are. Joe.
Twenty years ago I was running a trx850 with a very slow rear puncture. It had been like that for weeks as I often pumped the tyre up with my cycle pump. This one evening went out with the lads and was fair old tonking on, on the back roads to squires cafe. There was a corner that it didn’t want to go round with fields either side. It took too much of a fight to get round and I spotted an open farmers gate on the apex so I launched it through the opening which was ploughed full of wheat…… I was still upright and doing well. Instead of turning around I rode the field diagonally and caught the lads up at the far gate. We later did the road in reverse on the way back. We were flying and it was deja-vu as the bloody bike failed to go round now a left hander. It dawned on me that my rear tyre was the cause as it was lacking air!! Too late….. I spotted an open gate in a field which looked like the last one, yep did it again and thought this is not that bad, rode through it with wheat to the height of my wheels, found an opening to the road only to feel my bike disappear from underneath me as I ended up 6ft down in in a ditch with 3ft deep water!! I managed to climb out holding onto the wheat but my bike was fully under with only a twist grip showing like a sword in a stone!!
A funny one My Wife's cousin did ! We went to a Big Big Bike show in the Brisbane City Centre in early 1980's , there was parking in Cities open spaces. We all parked , a group of friends (4 or 5 bike's) Robbie (cousin) had a highly decorated Kawasaki Z900 , painted in Snow White and Light Blues , Murals of Polar Bears pulling a Mythical Goddess in a Chariot ! You get the picture , Gopping awful !! We all parked at the top of the grassy knoll , He parked half way down , only 12/18 inches lower than us , he was parked just above half a dozen Harley Davidson's . Side stands down , lock and leave ! We get a few feet away and then hear Robbie yelling HELP , turn around to see him Running , his bike was slowly toppling down on top of those aforementioned HD !! We froze , then as one Said Told You So and then the crowd spontaneously started laughing
Went to see Iron Maiden at Lancaster Uni in 1981. Rode my KH 250 which had worn kickstart splines. After the gig we met the band in the bar (good gig all round) then we left along with everyone else. Of course, my kickstart didn't work so decided to bump it. Pushed it up to a decent speed, jumped on side saddle and dropped the clutch only for the bike to stop and topple over the opposite side to where I was sat Everyone else enjoyed it Biggest embarrassment though was buying a Honda SLR 650 Dreadful thing.
I am Fork Lock. A handle bestowed on me by my asshole buddies via an incident in my misspent youth where I inadvertently rode a tricked out Sporty from one watering hole to the next, never having removed the fork lock. It had drag bars with the mirrors slung under the bars. They slapped the custom painted tank when the fork was locked. So, I cut the stock fork lock off and had another locking lug welded on so I could lock the bars straight. That's not the embarrassing part. I earned that name. I consider it a badge of honor. I was one of the earliest members of the Victory Motorcycle Club. The Mighty "Fork Lock," a legend in my own mind. A bunch of us VMC types were in upstate NY, camping. A ride was organized to the Tibbets Point Lighthouse on Lake Champlain. If you've seen one lighthouse, you.ve seen them all, but I went along. The driveway exiting the lighthouse was VERY steep. Where it met the level road, there was a sharp angle, a deep "V." As luck would have it, the line of bikes slowed and stopped exiting the driveway. I was stopped right on that "V." Front wheel on the road, back wheel on the driveway. I went to put my left foot down. Because of the angle of the driveway, the middle of the bike was suspended two feet in the air! My foot pedaled wildly lookin for solid ground. There was none. The Mighty Fork Lock, Legend of the VMC, Iron Butt Master, Hell-For-Stout-Rider, went DOWN in front of fifty of my adoring subjects. NO PICTURES!!! I will KILL anyone who points a camera in my direction! No damage to the VIC, thank the motorcycle gods, but the pig wasn't the only one who got roasted at the barbecue that night.
Not that bad, but pulling away with the disc lock still attached to front disc. The first time was ok. Rookie mistake, I'll not do that again... Second time was annoying, third time I wasted the disc lock. The fifth time (12 years riding by now) was very embarrassing as I should know better! Every single time, because something distracted me from the routine just at the wrong time where I thought I had done it, but hadn't Never dropped the bike during these though! Did seriously pull the musles on my left arm and side on last one.
August bank holiday Monday on the busy seafront at Scarborough my mate says, Hop on the back and I'll take you for a spin. Clever me thinks I'll show him how cool I am and clinbs aboad his 650 T'bird, hands in pockets, heels hooked under rear footrests. Off he goes with much gusto, off I go, back somersault and land in the same half crouch position in the middle of the busy road. Now the impact of landing jarred my legs as I could hardly move, my hands were stuck in my tight Levi pockets and the fly had burst open! Managed to hobble to the kerb to a cacophony of car horns and laughter, and my mate got five miles away before he realised I wasn't there!
A guy that used to ride with us was on his Guzzi Le Man's with girlfriend on the back. Slowed to let someone cross a zebra crossing so his girlfriend relaxed a bit just as the pedestrian cleared the crossing and he accelerated again She flew off the back and broke her arm. Not long after, they split up and she became a lesbian. Not sure if it was a factor
