Lucky Escape

Well, I'll go to t'foot of our stairs!
Just abart to sit mi Masters degree exam, when t'moderator come and chucked me off t'course sayin that cheque'd bounced, and The God Mohammed dint have a bank account at Lloyds! When I told my captor/brainwasher Mo, he said I was a lost cause anyway, and he dunt know what he was thinkin, said he shudda known better when he realised I had a Naval background! Also, he was struggling to get 27 virgins round our way, which I can understand. He said summat about, "3,2,1, back in the room", clicked his fingers, and he was gone!! Dint even say ta-ra, the ignorant twat!