This made me laugh

I'm going to open a brewery. I'm going to name my beer "Responsibly."

This way, every other beer company will give my beer free advertising at the end of their commercials.

Drink Responsibly.

 

That's kingfisher...oh wait.

Got me.

 

I can only see a Kookaburra. Goats don't have feathers...

 

Last year I decided to embark on a new career and retrained as a Locksmith. It’s opened a load of new doors for me.

 

And maybe even a new--and more lucrative--career.

 

I bought myself a new pen that writes underwater.
Mind you, It writes other words too.

 

What's the difference between swine flu and bird flu?

One requires oinkment and the other requires tweetment.