My wife is miserable, says I never buy her anything, I’ve gone and bought her a refrigerator, I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it
I just fired myself from cleaning my house. I didn’t like my attitude and was caught drinking on the job.
An elderly couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no "after life" at all. After a long life together, Frank was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact: "Kris, Kris, can you hear me? "Is that you, Frank? "Yes, I've come back like we agreed. "That's wonderful! What's it like? "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (and Kris, you'd be proud -- lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper,it's back to the golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again. "Oh, Frank! Are you in Heaven? "No -- I'm a rabbit somewhere in Arizona."
