This made me laugh

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Havit, Sep 23, 2015.

  1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  1. MickEng

    MickEng Noble Member

    Sep 29, 2016
    1,805
    450
    West Yorkshire
    He might have converted to Metric ? :laughing:
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
    • Agree Agree x 1
  2. Sprinter

    Sprinter Kinigit

    Aug 17, 2014
    6,027
    1,000
    uk
  3. thebiglad

    thebiglad Old fart, still riding !

    Sep 25, 2013
    5,064
    1,000
    Central France
    [​IMG]
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Sprinter

    Sprinter Kinigit

    Aug 17, 2014
    6,027
    1,000
    uk
  5. Winglad

    Winglad Crème de la Crème

    Dec 21, 2016
    2,429
    1,000
    Earth
    #2705 Winglad, Aug 8, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2017
    Well, that was fun, Sprinter :)

    Once upon a time, when we still had visitors in the cockpit, there was this little boy being more or less pushed in by the flight attendant.
    He was a very quiet lad. Took his time looking at all the dials, not asking any questions.
    Then my colleague turned around and asked him jovially: "So son, do you also want to become a pilot?"
    The boy looked at him, aroused from his contemplation, and said:

    "No, but my brother, the lazy twat..."

    :blush:
     
    • Funny Funny x 6
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Havit

    Havit Admin
    Staff Member Subscriber

    Jul 17, 2015
    9,568
    1,000
    Kent
    i just found out that someone on here has the same Birthday as me..........Ken Walburn :party:
    He asked me if i knew of anyone else who celebrated our birthday date :rolleyes: my reply was ,The only other person i know who WONT be celabrating our birthday is winglad our German aircraft pilot......the 3rd september was the day the War broke out :p:D:D

    Thanks for that Ken:)
     
  7. Winglad

    Winglad Crème de la Crème

    Dec 21, 2016
    2,429
    1,000
    Earth
    Now though, I have a good reason to celebrate it as well, Wayne!
    Cheers!
     
    • Like Like x 2
  8. MrOrange

    MrOrange Guest

    FB_IMG_1502229081821.jpg
    Ooooooh bugger! :eek::p:laughing:
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
    • Agree Agree x 2
  9. Havit

    Havit Admin
    Staff Member Subscriber

    Jul 17, 2015
    9,568
    1,000
    Kent
    Thanks Danny boy:) glad I'm here to ease the pain :p:laughing:
     
    • Love You Love You x 1
  10. Yorkshireman

    Yorkshireman Crème de la Crème

    Dec 12, 2015
    3,401
    1,000
    Barnsley
    We should have a guess the bike competition :D
     
    • Agree Agree x 3
  11. Rooster

    Rooster Grumpy Member
    Subscriber

    Sep 14, 2015
    1,639
    800
    Droitwich, Worcestershire
    ATT000671.jpg
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Agree Agree x 1
  12. Havit

    Havit Admin
    Staff Member Subscriber

    Jul 17, 2015
    9,568
    1,000
    Kent
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Face Palm Face Palm x 1
  13. Havit

    Havit Admin
    Staff Member Subscriber

    Jul 17, 2015
    9,568
    1,000
    Kent
    Thats easy........Its a PIT BIKE :p
     
    • Funny Funny x 7
    • Like Like x 1
  14. andypandy

    andypandy Crème de la Crème

    Jan 10, 2016
    4,083
    1,000
    Shaw
    Or a (sewer) Rat Bike
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
    • Like Like x 1
  15. Rooster

    Rooster Grumpy Member
    Subscriber

    Sep 14, 2015
    1,639
    800
    Droitwich, Worcestershire
    13901576_756063594536699_5889951680705692205_n.jpeg
     
    • Funny Funny x 8
    • Like Like x 1
  16. Rooster

    Rooster Grumpy Member
    Subscriber

    Sep 14, 2015
    1,639
    800
    Droitwich, Worcestershire
    IMG_0111.JPG
     
    • Agree Agree x 5
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  17. Rooster

    Rooster Grumpy Member
    Subscriber

    Sep 14, 2015
    1,639
    800
    Droitwich, Worcestershire
    IMG_0113.JPG
     
    • Funny Funny x 4
    • Like Like x 1
    • Agree Agree x 1
  18. desertspeedy

    desertspeedy Senior Member

    Jul 28, 2016
    436
    113
    N. Phoenix, AZ, USA
    BAGPIPES

    Time is like a river. You cannot touch the water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life. As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the South Carolina back country.

    As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions.

    I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late.

    I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.

    The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.

    And as I played "Amazing Grace", the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished, I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head was hung low, my heart was full.

    As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen anything like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

    Apparently, I'm still lost...it's a man thing.
     
    • Funny Funny x 10
  19. desertspeedy

    desertspeedy Senior Member

    Jul 28, 2016
    436
    113
    N. Phoenix, AZ, USA
    Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
    A. No one cries when you chop up a bagpipe.
    -----------------------------------------------------
    Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?
    A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.
    -----------------------------------------------------
    Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?
    A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.
    ------------------------------------------------------
    Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded?
    A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.
    -----------------------------------------------------
    Q. What's the difference between a lawn mower and a bagpipe?
    A. You can tune the lawn mower.
    -----------------------------------------------------
    Q. If lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions: an in-tune bagpipe player, an out-of-tune bagpipe player, or Santa Claus?
    A. The out-of-tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate you have been hallucinating.
    -------------------------------------------------------
    Q. How do you make a chain saw sound like a bagpipe?
    A. Add vibrato.
    -------------------------------------------------------
    Q. What's the definition of a gentleman?
    A. Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn't.
    -------------------------------------------------------
    Q. What's the difference between a dead bagpiper in the road and a dead country singer in the road?
    A. The country singer may have been on the way to a recording session.
    ------------------------------------------------------
    Q. What's the range of a bagpipe?
    A. Twenty yards if you have a good arm.
    ----------------------------------------------------
    Q. Why are bagpipers' fingers like lightning?
    A. They rarely strike the same spot twice.
    -----------------------------------------------------
    Q. How can you tell if a bagpipe is out of tune?
    A. Someone is blowing into it.
    -----------------------------------------------------
    Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
    A. To get away from the sound.
    ------------------------------------------------------
    Q. What's the definition of "optimism"
    A. A bagpiper with a beeper.
    ------------------------------------------------------
    Q. How do you get two bagpipers to play in perfect unison?
    A. Shoot one.
    ------------------------------------------------------
    Did you hear about the bagpiper who parked his car with the windows open, forgetting that he had left his bagpipes in the back seat?
    He rushed back as soon as he realized it, but it was too late -- someone had already put another set of bagpipes in the car!
    ------------------------------------------------------
    Overheard at a bagpipe recital – “At least there’s nae smell…”
    ------------------------------------------------------
    It’s said that bagpipes sound better at a distance. Something in the order of 300 yards…
    ------------------------------------------------------
    The Irish gave the Scots the Bagpipes, and they (the Scots) still haven't seen the joke.
    ------------------------------------------------------
    As mentioned by a colleague, “My late father played the Uillean pipes. Not well, but not painfully either. He was no Davy Spillane, I'll admit. But then Davy Spillane is not my dad...”
    ------------------------------------------------------
    Heck of a weapon in the right hands, the bagpipes.
    ------------------------------------------------------
    There are some that refer to the bagpipes as “Agony Bags”.
     
    • Funny Funny x 6
    • Like Like x 1
  20. desertspeedy

    desertspeedy Senior Member

    Jul 28, 2016
    436
    113
    N. Phoenix, AZ, USA
    Me thinks we should not have named this elephant, "Randy". Other captions ?[​IMG]
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
Loading...

Share This Page