Is There A Support Group?

After I sold my Victory I went without a motorcycle for a year. Possibly, the the worst time of my life if you exclude my sophomore years in high school. But, I digress. I live on a corner lot. The side street is quite busy. All day long I saw motorcycles going by. The riders were laughing at me. I know it. I know they were saying "Fork Lock doesn't have a motorcycle - NAYYAA NAYAA!!!!" So, I bought a Triumph. All I wanted was a little motorcycle I could tool around on about town. Nothing fancy - just two wheels. I swore i wasn't going to do ANYTHING to it. Leave it bone stock and just be happy to have a motorcycle. When I got it home, I WAS happy - for the first two weeks. However, those mirrors had to go. I know some people like them, but to me, they looked like alien space antennae. They HAD to go. OK...custom mirrors ordered and installed. Then, that red tank looked so plain! Two black pinstripes down the center would look sharp - done! Of course, the iconic triumph, rubber knee pads on the tank sides are a must! Done! Bags, sure. I need to have someplace to store rain gear and a jacket, right? And a tool roll. Can't go without some basic hand tools, I mean, it's just practical to have some tools on hand. Right? She was kinda' quiet, dont'cha know. Loud pipes save lives. OK - pull the cat con and remap. She does sound better! Highway bars - a safety issue. Really should have highway bars - and pegs to attach to the highway bars, so I can stretch out a bit. Sure! Comfort is important. A windshield would be nice. I mean, it's a safety issue, after all, isn't it? I could be hit by a rock, or a bird. Windshield on order...
Paint - I never truly liked the red with black fenders. It looks like the bike was assembled from leftover parts. Motorcycles should be all black anyway. As soon as the weather turns the tank is going to the paint shop -
ALL BLACK!

It's a disease!

SOMEBODY STOP ME!

Is there a support group? A twelve step program? Can I apply for benefits under the Americans With Disabilities Act?