I May Be Being Daft...

Discussion in 'Suggestions & Feedback' started by Donald, Mar 22, 2021.

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  1. Donald

    Donald New Member

    Mar 17, 2021
    4
    3
    West Calder
    As per post title, I may be being daft here, or blind, but can't seem to see the option anywhere.

    How do I upgrade my subscription level to £15?

    Whenever I click on the link I just see the £5 option, which I've done already.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  2. Tigcraft

    Tigcraft Unheard of Member

    Mar 29, 2014
    2,575
    800
    Holmfirth West Yorkshire
    From what I heard I think it’s been temporary removed
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
  3. Donald

    Donald New Member

    Mar 17, 2021
    4
    3
    West Calder
    Ah, didn’t see that anywhere, but no big deal if that’s the case.

    Probably need to get this updated though - https://www.thetriumphforum.com/pages/Subscriber/
     
    • Like Like x 1
  4. Cyborgbot

    Cyborgbot Guest

    The level of personal insults and abuse you might expect to receive at the higher tier is genuinely worth every penny.

    Every word is carefully crafted to focus on providing the premium experience you deserve.

    As you haven’t actually paid yet, we are restricting this message to a modicum of irony and sarcasm. But all in good humour.

    Please upgrade for the full benefit of your membership.

    ;):)
     
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  5. Pegscraper

    Pegscraper Elite Member

    Jun 12, 2020
    3,011
    800
    Yorkshire

    I would also be interested in an extra £10 worth of ridicule and personal insults please.
     
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  6. Cyborgbot

    Cyborgbot Guest

    #6 Cyborgbot, Mar 23, 2021
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 23, 2021
    We do our best but probably can’t beat the immortal words of Tony Capstick by saying “You gret useless spawny-eyed parrot-faced wazzock”. It’s simple in style, poetic and (in your case) accurate.

    However whilst not having the same ineffable way with hostile vocabulary, we can and will call everyone (including ourselves) “total twats”.

    We do on rare occasions take on Pro Bono work for non-subscribers who we feel would benefit by being insulted. This is usually for their brazen stupidity, crazy ideas or any one of a multitude of annoying peccadilloes that we have arbitrarily got hacked off with during a particularly extensive circular (and irrelevant) rant (@Traveller I am in no way am I referring to you here).
     
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  7. joe mc donald

    Subscriber

    Dec 26, 2014
    13,916
    1,000
    slough / burnham
    Donald
    Welcome to the family.
    Joe.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  8. Stephen Martin

    Stephen Martin Senior Member

    Aug 31, 2020
    456
    113
    Isle of Wight
    Reminds me of
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    The Argument Sketch




    A man walks into an office.

    Man: (Michael Palin) Ah. I'd like to have an argument, please.

    Receptionist: Certainly sir. Have you been here before?

    Man: No, this is my first time.

    Receptionist: I see. Well, do you want to have the full argument, or were you thinking of taking a course?

    Man: Well, what would be the cost?

    Receptionist: Well, It's one pound for a five minute argument, but only eight pounds for a course of ten.

    Man: Well, I think it's probably best if I start with the one and then see how it goes from there, okay?

    Receptionist: Fine. I'll see who's free at the moment.

    (Pause)

    Receptionist: Mr. DeBakey's free, but he's a little bit conciliatory. Ahh yes, Try Mr. Barnard; room 12.

    Man: Thank you. (Walks down the hall. Opens door.)

    Angry man: WHADDAYOU WANT?

    Man: Well, Well, I was told outside that...

    Angry man: DON'T GIVE ME THAT, YOU SNOTTY-FACED HEAP OF PARROT DROPPINGS!

    Man: What?

    A: SHUT YOUR FESTERING GOB, YOU TIT! YOUR TYPE MAKES ME PUKE! YOU VACUOUS TOFFEE-NOSED MALODOROUS PERVERT!!!

    M: Yes, but I came here for an argument!!

    A: OH! Oh! I'm sorry! This is abuse!

    M: Oh! Oh I see!

    A: Aha! No, you want room 12A, next door.

    M: Oh...Sorry...

    A: Not at all!

    A: (under his breath) stupid git.

    (The man goes into room 12A. Another man is sitting behind a desk.)

    Man: Is this the right room for an argument?

    Other Man:(John Cleese) I've told you once.

    Man: No you haven't!

    Other Man: Yes I have.

    M: When?

    O: Just now.

    M: No you didn't!

    O: Yes I did!

    M: You didn't!

    O: I did!

    M: You didn't!

    O: I'm telling you, I did!

    M: You did not!

    O: Oh I'm sorry, is this a five minute argument, or the full half hour?

    M: Ah! (taking out his wallet and paying) Just the five minutes.

    O: Just the five minutes. Thank you.

    O: Anyway, I did.

    M: You most certainly did not!

    O: Now let's get one thing quite clear: I most definitely told you!

    M: Oh no you didn't!

    O: Oh yes I did!

    M: Oh no you didn't!

    O: Oh yes I did!

    M: Oh no you didn't!

    O: Oh yes I did!

    M: Oh no you didn't!

    O: Oh yes I did!

    M: Oh no you didn't!

    O: Oh yes I did!

    M: Oh no you didn't!

    O: Oh yes I did!

    M: No you DIDN'T!

    O: Oh yes I did!

    M: No you DIDN'T!

    O: Oh yes I did!

    M: No you DIDN'T!

    O: Oh yes I did!

    M: Oh look, this isn't an argument!

    (pause)

    O: Yes it is!

    M: No it isn't!

    (pause)

    M: It's just contradiction!

    O: No it isn't!

    M: It IS!

    O: It is NOT!

    M: You just contradicted me!

    O: No I didn't!

    M: You DID!

    O: No no no!

    M: You did just then!

    O: Nonsense!

    M: (exasperated) Oh, this is futile!!

    (pause)

    O: No it isn't!

    M: Yes it is!

    (pause)

    M: I came here for a good argument!

    O: AH, no you didn't, you came here for an argument!

    M: An argument isn't just contradiction.

    O: Well! it CAN be!

    M: No it can't!

    M: An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.

    O: No it isn't!

    M: Yes it is! 'tisn't just contradiction.

    O: Look, if I *argue* with you, I must take up a contrary position!

    M: Yes but it isn't just saying 'no it isn't'.

    O: Yes it is!

    M: No it isn't!

    O: Yes it is!

    M: No it isn't!

    O: Yes it is!

    M: No it ISN'T! Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says.

    O: It is NOT!

    M: It is!

    O: Not at all!

    M: It is!

    (The Arguer hits a bell on his desk and stops.)

    O: Thank you, that's it.

    M: (stunned) What?

    O: That's it. Good morning.

    M: But I was just getting interested!

    O: I'm sorry, the five minutes is up.

    M: That was never five minutes just now!!

    O: I'm afraid it was.

    M: (leading on) No it wasn't.....

    O: I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to argue any more.

    M: WHAT??

    O: If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.

    M: But that was never five minutes just now!
    Oh Come on!
    Oh this is...
    This is ridiculous!

    O: I told you... I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you PAY!

    M: Oh all right. (takes out his wallet and pays again.) There you are.

    O: Thank you.

    M: (clears throat) Well...

    O: Well WHAT?

    M: That was never five minutes just now.

    O: I told you, I'm not allowed to argue unless you've paid!

    M: Well I just paid!

    O: No you didn't!

    M: I DID!!!

    O: YOU didn't!

    M: I DID!!!

    O: YOU didn't!

    M: I DID!!!

    O: YOU didn't!

    M: I DID!!!

    O: YOU didn't!

    M: I don't want to argue about it!

    O: Well I'm very sorry but you didn't pay!

    M: Ah hah! Well if I didn't pay, why are you arguing??? Ah HAAAAAAHHH! Gotcha!

    O: No you haven't!

    M: Yes I have! If you're arguing, I must have paid.

    O: Not necessarily. I *could* be arguing in my spare time.

    M: I've had enough of this!

    O: No you haven't.

    M: Oh shut up!

    (Man leaves the office)







    Continue to the next sketch... Hitting on the Head Lessons












    2021 MontyPython.net
     
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  9. Yorkshireman

    Yorkshireman Crème de la Crème

    Dec 12, 2015
    3,401
    1,000
    Barnsley
    I’ll do that for a fiver for you, send the money to www.YMabuseservices.com
     
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  10. DanielB

    DanielB Noble Member

    Jan 13, 2019
    882
    393
    Abingdon, Oxfordshire
    No you won't Yorkshireman...
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  11. andyb57

    andyb57 Senior Member

    Apr 15, 2017
    281
    113
    Devon
    OP is now breathing a sigh of relief he didn't find a way to pay £15 for the privilege.......
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  12. kelvinmop

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  13. Bikerman

    Bikerman I used to have 5500 posts.

    Oct 29, 2014
    1,425
    1,000
    Lincolnshire
    • Like Like x 1
  14. joe mc donald

    Subscriber

    Dec 26, 2014
    13,916
    1,000
    slough / burnham
    Just put ignore against the user and it has disappeared from my pages.
    Joe.
     
  15. Bikerman

    Bikerman I used to have 5500 posts.

    Oct 29, 2014
    1,425
    1,000
    Lincolnshire
    I know, but I'm just reporting it anyhow.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  16. joe mc donald

    Subscriber

    Dec 26, 2014
    13,916
    1,000
    slough / burnham
    Bikerman
    Yes where do these morons come from. And do they think we are as stupid as they are.
    Joe.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
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