This made me laugh

This, I forgot to mention, was an actual text exchange between my youngest daughter and me.

 

I believe that is hers.

 

A social media influencer from England has told her followers not to worry about fuel prices going up as £20 of fuel is still the same price!
Bethany Johnson who regularly gives her followers savvy tips and tricks on how to save money has told her followers that she filled up today like normal and it still only cost her £20 !
Bethany 22, who has been driving for 4 years says she has filled up at the same petrol station since she passed her test and it has always cost her £20 when she has filled her car up with 20 pounds worth of petrol.
"I think all the rumours about prices going up is just scaremongering from the government and the media. There's no need to panic," she said.

 

Looks like she stopped at the air pump and filled her lips too.

 

People who don't know the difference between entomology and etymology bug me in ways I can't put into words.

 

New Jersey weather...

Yesterday it was sunny and 80 degrees

Today it's snowing and 32 Degrees

A short poem by Forklock:

Yesterday I took my Triumph for a ride
Today I sat at home and cried.

 

A sea captain was in a quandary. He had to put to sea, but his first mate had just quit. None of the other sailors were qualified. He was pacing up and down the wharf when he saw an old man playing chess with a chimpanzee dressed in a little sailor's uniform. "That's one smart chimp," said the captain to the old fellow. "Not really," said the old man. "I usually beat him two out of three times."
"Why a sailor suit?" asked the captain. "Well, he's a crackerjack seaman," said the old salt. He's been all over the world on sailing vessels." "I don't suppose he could handle first mate duties, could he?" asked the captain. "Oh, he'd make a crackerjack first mate." Said the old man. The captain was skeptical, but desperate and asked if the chimp was for sale. The old man said he'd take $100 for him. So, the captain bought the chimp and took him aboard. The chimp did very well. On the return voyage the captain and the chimp met the old man at the dock. The old man asked how the chimp did. "He was great!" said the captain. "He works for peanuts and ...

He's a prime mate."


I'm sorry.

 

A shout out for lady jockeys on Cheltenham gold cup day.

WARNING!! NOT SAFE FOR WOKE!