This made me laugh

This is true!

I once rolled up into the driveway on a V45 Magna.

Surprize!

She didn't talk to me for a week!

As the meme says - A week of peace and quiet and a new motorcycle!

 

OK, sooo, carrying gas in extra containers is prohibited on the Garden State Parkway and the Atlantic City Expressway. Is beer OK?

 

Not for the dog

 

A husband carelessly walks into his house just after his wife had moped and waxed the floor, but before it had dried. She naturally killed him.
When the responding police officer was seen hesitating outside the door. A neighbor asked him why he hadn't arrested her, and what was he waiting for. He responded, "For the floor to dry!"