This made me laugh

Shame the little shit didn't drown. I dare say now that those coppers will now be sacked for doing their jobs.
No compassion one bit for the bell end.

 

I’d of rather they stopped recording and simply drown the oxygen thief

 

A guy gets into an Uber and after driving a few minutes he wants to ask the driver a question and taps him on the shoulder. The car swerves violently and they nearly hit a fire hydrant before the driver gets the car back under control. The guy says, "A little jumpy, aren't you?" The driver says "Sorry, it's my first day on the job. Before this I drove a hearse for twenty years."

 

Who remembers the Python "Spot the Looney" sketch?

 

.....trick question-they're both loonies

 

..... not exactly in tune, though.

 

Great use of an old wheelie bin here!

 

I took my own spoon to cookery class last night. It caused quite a stir.

One of the class was moaning that she couldn't find her eggs. I said don't worry, you've probably mislaid them.