This made me laugh

Or are they?

 

Do you have a pet spider... it is in your hair.

{do not think this while in the Dentist chair}

 

What she says: I want to be recognized for my intelligence, my skills and my abilities.

The way she dresses: How do you like my boobs?

 

I submitted one of those ancestry/genealogy analysis inquiries.

They sent me this:

 

My wife is so hard to shop for. Last Christmas time I asked her if she wanted a drone.

She said she married one.

So, I bought her the drone anyway. She only used it once. She said the view was better from her broom.