This made me laugh

In the same vein...

I guess it's a standard joke among these types, but I had an acquaintance who was an aircraft mechanic. He boasted that he had a 100% success rating with planes he worked on. Not one of them every failed to come back down.

And then there was an E.R. doctor who was suturing my hand. It was still bleeding a bit. He said not to worry. All bleeding eventually stops.

 

Truth.

 

My Explorer had a squeaking noise.

Found it.

 

A dwarf was sent to prison for scamming older folks, claiming he could communicate with their dead relatives.

But he escaped from prison.

Now, he's a small medium at large.