This made me laugh

Discussion in 'Lounge' started by Havit, Sep 23, 2015.

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  1. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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  2. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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  3. Bikerman

    Bikerman I used to have 5500 posts.

    Oct 29, 2014
    1,431
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    Wouldn't it be nice if all the utilities company's would send a letter to all those climate activist along these lines.

    Dear Sir, Miss, Ms, or if you have no idea what you are.
    Here at UK Gas / Electric / Water we, like you, are committed to ensuring that our business has the least effect in terms of damage to the climate of our planet.
    As you know we at UK Gas / Electric / Water, are leaders in providing clean Green energy/ water where at all possible, we do however sadly have to rely on fossil fuel now and again for the foreseeable future in order to maintain supplies to you. We are however always on the lookout to reduce our impact on our planet.
    It is with this in mind that I am proud to inform you, that as a direct result of your tireless efforts to persuade the Government to change their policy on fossil fuels that are no doubt causing the climate catastrophe that you are so admirably fighting the good cause for, we here at UK Gas / Electric / Water, have decided to disconnect your supply. I'm absolutely sure that you will support this decision in helping you fight the evils of climate change.
    I would personally like to thank you for yours, and other people like you, who have taken the stand in this true and just fight. I do hope that the measures we have taken, will have your full backing. Rest assured we have taken these steps to show our solidarity with you.
    After all, we wouldn't like to think people could accuse you of HYPOCRISY.
    Thank you for your custom in previous years. and good luck for the future.
    Please don't forget to recycle this letter in the correct bin.
     
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  4. Dawsy

    Dawsy Cumbrian half-wit
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    Aug 24, 2018
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    Brilliant!
     
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  5. xorbe

    xorbe Noble Member

    Jan 27, 2021
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  6. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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    A drunk man who smelled of
    beer sat down on a subway next to a priest.
    The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered
    with red lipstick, and a half-empty
    bottle of gin was sticking out of his
    torn coat pocket. He opened his
    newspaper and began reading.
    After a few minutes the man turned to
    the priest and asked, "Say Father, what causes
    arthritis?"
    The priest replies, "My Son, it's
    caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women,
    too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man,
    sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath."
    The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned”,
    Then returned to his paper.
    The priest, thinking about what he had said,
    nudged the man and apologized. "I'm
    very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong.
    How long have you had arthritis?"
    The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father.
    I was just reading here that the
    Pope does."
    MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before offering the answer
     
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  7. Sandi T

    Sandi T It's ride o'clock somewhere!
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    Dec 3, 2018
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    Exactly, @Wessa! :joy:
     
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  8. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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  9. Fourbears

    Fourbears Noble Member

    Dec 8, 2017
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  10. Fork Lock

    Fork Lock Elite Member

    Feb 5, 2021
    1,934
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    This morning I went out to the rabbit hutch to take stock of its condition and see what repairs might be needed after the winter. It looked OK.

    Thought I'd hop on it before the summer heat.
    There was nothing to stew about.
    No repairs were warren-ted.
    Not a hare out of place.

    Sorry. I'll get my hat.
     
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  11. Adrian Braithwaite

    Adrian Braithwaite Well-Known Member

    Sep 7, 2018
    129
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    ha Ha, very Bunny!
     
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  12. Adrian Braithwaite

    Adrian Braithwaite Well-Known Member

    Sep 7, 2018
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    Kirkhamgate
    Ha ha, very Bunny!
     
  13. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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  14. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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  15. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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  16. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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  17. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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  18. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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  19. darkman

    darkman Crème de la Crème

    Oct 26, 2015
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  20. David Cooper

    David Cooper Triumph Rocketeer.
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