This made me laugh

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair while her dad gets his haircut, eating a snack cake.

The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie."

She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."

 

While many complain about life in general and the cost of living etc, I am sitting on a sofa that costs £3,500, lovely and cool in front of an air-con unit costing £2,300, watching the latest film on a 70" smart TV that costs £4,000
Right now, I'm happy, with no worries and not a care in the world, not even the employees at John Lewis, who keep asking me to leave can spoil my day....

 

Wait...the U.S. Post Service is now handling mail in the U.K?

 

I phoned Heart FM today, to enter their mystery prize competition.
The presenter answered and said,
"Congratulations on being our first caller, all you need to do is answer the following question correctly, to win our Mystery Grand Star Prize"..
"That fantastic!" I called out in delight.
"Feel confident?" The presenter asked, "It's a Maths Question."
"Well, I've got a degree in Mathematics from Cambridge University," I proudly replied,
"Ok then, to win our grand prize of 2 VIP tickets to a Harley Davidson launch and to be the first person ever to test ride the new bike, what is 2+2 ?"
“17”, I replied.

 

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The other two will be with the 10mm socket somewhere!