This made me laugh

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FFS I’d be volunteering to be celibate and not compulsory as I am now.

 

Makes me think of Brian Blessed

 

SO, MY SON WAS FLUNKING OUT OF COLLEGE SO I TOLD HIM, "YOU WILL MARRY THE GIRL I CHOOSE." HE SAID, "NO."
I TOLD HIM, "SHE IS BILL GATES' DAUGHTER."
HE SAID, "YES."
I CALLED BILL GATES AND SAID, "I WANT YOUR DAUGHTER TO MARRY MY SON."
BILL GATES SAID, "NO."
I TOLD BILL GATES, "MY SON IS THE CEO OF THE WORLD BANK."
BILL GATES SAID, "OK."
I CALLED THE PRESIDENT OF THE WORLD BANK AND ASKED HIM TO MAKE MY SON THE CEO.
HE SAID, "NO."
I TOLD HIM, "MY SON IS BILL GATES' SON-IN-LAW."
HE SAID, "OK."
AND THAT'S EXACTLY HOW POLITICS WORKS.
And thus, began the practice of hiring morons to work in influential positions of government.
This practice remains unbroken to this day.

 

Can anyone tell me exactly what concise means.................
Please be brief, short and to the point.

With the popularity of shouts for this and that these days, how about a shout for all the hearing aid wearers.............

I was in a pub when a young man sat down on the stool next to me and started crying.
"What's the matter?", I asked.
"21 today", he replied.
"In that case have a drink with me on this special day," I said hoping to cheer him up.
I bought him a pint and he downed it in one go.
"22 today" , he said....

I've now retired to Spain and bought a nice villa. Yesterday my daughter e-mailed me, again, asking why I didn't do something useful with my time.
"Like sitting around the pool and drinking beer isn't a good thing?", I asked. (Talking about my "doing-something-useful" seems to be her favourite topic of conversation lately.)
She is "only thinking of me," she said, and suggested I go down to the Senior citizen community Centre and hang out with the fellas.
So, I did and when I got home, decided to play a prank on her that I learned about from the fellas at the pensioner's centre.
So I sent her an e-mail saying that I had joined the Senior's Parachute Club.
She replied, "Are you nuts? You're way too old now, you're not going to start jumping out of aeroplanes?"
I sensed that she didn't believe me, so I told her that I even had a Membership Card and e-mailed a copy to her.
Immediately, she telephoned me and yelled, "Good grief, Dad, where are your glasses? This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!"
"Oh man, am I in trouble," I said, "I signed up for five jumps a week!"

Alfie