One of the biggest killers of men our age. Men aged 20-49 are more likely to die at their own hands than any other cause. 45-49 has the highest rate. 3/4 of all suicides are men. Is there someone in your life you were in regular contact with until recently? One of the first clues is withdrawal from social contact. Hard to take part in banter, when your depressed. If you do feel depressed or think of harming yourself, speak to someone. 116 123 Samaritans. Text 85258 Shout. Lost a biker pal a couple of years ago, I missed the signs. He phoned me up quite regularly, but then stopped suddenly. So wish, I had called him up. Some people know I have struggled with depression for the last 18 months, never got suicidal, but I had a good wife to help me through, and medical support. Mental health problems sneak up on you, you never think it will happen to you. Even the biggest & strongest can get knocked down by this. If you need to speak, call someone. If you want, message me, or someone else on the forum. Bit like alcoholic, first step to recovering is admitting to it. Ron.
My wife has mental issues primarily schizophrenia, hallucinations, talking to god, and other religious fantasy (dang). She also talks to the sasquaches in the back yard, as she knows their language. After her last 2 month gig that ended in February, the doctor actually told me I was realitivey safe, unless she dreamed that I was the anti-christ in the middle of the night! Rock n roll in the man cave, and a good bike ride every now and then, spinning wrenches priceless. This forums politically incorrect humor and banter has been a godsend!!! Bonus last week she decided that she's Jewish so I get a 4 hour window of freedom every Saturday from 10 am till 2 or 3 while she's at the synagogue. Planning short adventure rides, Untill winter hits. Sure wish she could get a drivers license again to free up some more time.
I'm sure many of us can associate with your post Mr O. I think the first point to realise for the individual is it's not just them, lots of people go through depression due to the twists and turns of life. I'm unfortunately going to a funeral today as it happens, saw the guy only a month ago and I said to him then that he looked so well but we both knew he was living on borrowed time. Maximise the day and do what you want to do with your life whilst you can!
As some of you may know I lost my cousin to suicide last year. It still grieves me now, it's very easy to blame yourself for not paying sufficient attention, but we were blatting e-mails back & forth regularly. Sadly there were signs, but I didn't react to them quickly enough.
Sadly suicide is far too common . My Dad told my Brother he wouldn't try it again but unfortunately the second time he was successful.
Unfortunately the modern way of thinking @Dozers Dad in a lot of cases is "my situation" (although quite clearly my doing) is not my fault but somebody else's responsibility! Hello, wakey, wakey, smell the rose's Sunshine.....
Basically, the entire society bears the responsibility and not only the closer relationship. Of course, the immediate social environment also plays a role. In principle, the suicide rate in a state also reflects the quality of general empathy. So if the social climate in a society is so miserable that it also increases the suicide rate, then the responsibility is certainly synonymous with the respective politicians. However, as we know, these only react when social peace is in danger or massive unrest breaks out, but it is usually too late for some. The worst of all is the incomprehensible hypocrisy associated with this topic. It's always and everywhere the same game, first they ignore the victim, they cut it out at every opportunity, they don't care about that one for a very long time, but as soon as he doesn't exist any more, he is demonstratively mourned. It makes me so sick that I would have to vomit! The procedure in our society is always the same, you never fight the real causes, but always only the symptoms. The list of sins of omission in this society is now so extensive that it would go beyond the scope here.
Re-reading through this thread I feel there is one very important related point that's probably consciously overlooked by most people including the authorities, due to its difficult nature, and is certainly applicable in some cases. Women bang their drum about gender equality especially with regard to salary, professional status etc. etc. Yet...... in real life they have the upper hand and would not concede anything that would be to the detriment of this; Children and Divorce. The Male is in many cases deprived of his kids, house and belongings irrespective of who's choice or misdemeanor it actually was. This is grossly unfair in quite a significant number of cases yet is fully supported by the authorities CSA etc. It would be interesting to see the statistics between suicide and males who have lost everything? Equality umm ........ only when it suits thank you Sir. But what am I supposed to live on? Unwritten rule or conversation if only people were honest with you. YOU dont need to live, YOU just need to exist in order to keep paying!!!!
MrOrange Wow hard hitting subject. I for one have been there. Like you blamed my self for the night I went fishing when my wife took ill. Yes I to tried to commit suicide some months later. Strangely it was Tracy and her Brother who found me and called an ambulance. Sur these things haunt us and truth be known I have a tear in my eye now. These things just happen and we just have to go on the best we can. I try to listen to everyone and lend a hand when I can. Like Eldon just said my Brother in Law lost everything to a selfish woman. He was living with us just after Christmas last year he just gave up and died no suicide nothing just gave up. I think we all been there but you need a friend well how many members have we here on this forum they are all you friends. Want to talk mail any one of us and we will be as helpful as you want. Kind Regards Joe.
such an enlightened and supportive bunch...…. proud to be small part of this group. You're all awesome
This thread made me think a lot yesterday. Starting out wondering briefly if I'd known anyone, before remembering 6 that I'd either known personally or had been close to someone I know well. All men. EDIT: I decided on reflection to remove some of the family and personal stuff I'd put. Those of you with an interest in this subject will have read it and I don't mind that at all, but I didn't want it here long term. Cheers
Biker Jock Yes that was my way of thinking. After I got over trying to end it all. I was told to see an analyst who worked me out in minutes. He told me I was a selfish man who all my child hood clung to my mother. When that relationship started to end I joined the army they looked after me. When I decided to leave the army I got married and Claire my wife looked after me. When she died suddenly I was lost and so selfish I couldn't even see I had three young children who needed me. I changed my thoughts then as he was right. I was a poor dad but I've made it the best I could. I now try to pass that on to any one I find is in need of a shoulder. Regards Joe.
Rule #1 is women are always correct. Tell them otherwise at your own risk, and be ready for an onslaught of a full out war where there are now no rules. Court systems exists to take in money, and the more the better. That old school justice model is dead.
I could be selfish, in some form or fashion, but I would venture to guess everyone is to some extent. Joe mc Donald stuff happens whether you went fishing or went to work and I am sorry for your loss, sounds like you had a great "keeper" of a wife, and she hopes in the afterlife you go fishing again guilt free.
Bang on target. I was a whisker away from divorce earlier this year and for the first time in my life felt utterly helpless when I realized how close I was to lose everything- my son, house, savings, professional career. I would have gone back 20 years in my life and would have had to start from scratch. Came across many support groups and attended a couple personally and you should see the plight of some people- absolute wrecks. Won't lie but suicide did cross my mind but as my wife says, I am too strong to kill myself. Hired the best solicitor in town and made my intentions very clear that I will go all the way up the court to get what I deserve. She changed her mind and we continue to be together now. Before anyone asks, she wasn't happy with my drinking and I too knew I was beyond the point of recovery. 35cl whiskey every day for god knows how long. Went to the worlds toughest re-hab and been clean and sober now for more than 7 months. Sadly, the role of addiction (alcohol, gambling etc.) in aggravating depression and suicidal thoughts is significantly underestimated.
Guys you need to believe in Karma although that's easier said than done at the time! My ex and I were together for 22 years and she saw greener grass 9 years ago. She now openly regrets it and tells me so despite getting married to the "greener grass" man. Obviously the damage to the kids and loss to me of being a more integral part of the younger ones ( the one on the Beta 80 on the other thread) early years has been done which is something that I so strongly wanted to avoid. It has affected my older one as his world fell apart at a particularly wrong time especially as he was just entering his teenager and puberty years.
Sorry guys! Fuck all this “suicide prevention day” let’s make it suicide prevention 365 days then at least when that 1 day is over the rest of us can still be concerned about the other 364 days.
