You Know You’re Getting Old When

Girl, mother, granny; there are those on here who would not be able to service any of them other than maybe to fantasise about what they could do.......... he he
Wessa

 

Alternatively - you see a scantily clad lady out and your first thought is - she will catch a cold dressed like that. Am I the only one missing youth. In work - I'm classed as one of the "old farts" - bloomin cheek.

 

Stolly, will you please refrain from using words like work/working I keep having flashbacks and now need to go and lay down.
I finished work 17 years ago but that word sends shivers down my spine

 

Growing Old Disgracefully

 

I help run a small shooting group and as we are all mostly retired the usual conversation is our recent new medication or ongoing illness.

 

You know you're getting old when the bells hang lower than the rope!

 

When new collegues in work seem like school kids.

 

Sounds about right, shooting, drinking, bikes, doesn’t matter medication and illnesses always come into play....

 

Groaning when you gets up from the settee!

When the bogey from Brutal Street says "off the machine sonny" and does a double take when you take your lid off.

You can fart with impunity. It's expected.

You go into a room, then can't remember why you went in there.

You watch reruns of TV progs from the 70's...and can't remember what happens.

 

The 70's! I'm watching reruns of Netflix box sets because I can't remember what happened in the previous season!

 

When you need to pee cause you’re
- washing your hands
- gone outside
- just left somewhere
- been stopped by a cop
- any other inconvenient time

At least it still streams, my mates say I’m sooo lucky

 

I could have put this in "Rant of the Day".
Seasons FFS Steve ! There are ONLY EVER FOUR SEASONS, SPRING, SUMMER, AUTUMN & WINTER !
WE HAVE SERIES SERIES SERIES AND MORE EFFING SERIES !!!!!
Rant over

 

I realise being in the 40 category I might be a pup here but waterworks piping issues are setting in already.

No matter how much you shake the little man (in a urination capacity ) you can never get that last bit out

 

when your sons start discussing their work pensions

 

That's when you start wearing condoms for all the wrong reasons

 

Reliably pissing at 7am, pooping at 8am and then waking up at 9am

Or so I have heard, I am 'young' by some standards...I am not near retiring yet

 

Had some mormons come around knocking on doors recently... they looked like children yet introduced themselves as ‘Elders’.
My response was “How on earth can you be an Elder anything? Ive had wanks older than you!”

Things didn't really progress from there.

 

Better than a manpon down the japs eye

 

I had an icicle stuck to my trousers once, I took it off and chucked it on the hot plate, and it went ffffffrrrrrtttt! (it was cold out mind)