English Translations

Kin Ton Ti
Well that's something the same in both ports.
Regards
Joe.

 

SmilinJack
That depends on who has been wearing them.
Regards
Joe.

 

Helmut Visor.
You should have been a teacher or at least an interpreter.
Regards
Joe.

 

I was just about to go in to an explanation of fanny but pulled out just in time

 

Helmut Visor
Wasn't she in a film a few years ago.
Regards
Joe.

 

Oh and my wife went into a hair salon in a mall in WA because her mid length hair was a bit wayward. They asked her if she wanted a shag. She nearly had a seizure........

 

Okay,
Dogs bollocks and bog standard are opposites from the same origin. Being..
Box deluxe in cockney rhyme became dogs bollocks
Standard box became box standard to bog standard

The dogs bollocks is a term of pride or satisfaction in something because it is the best of something that it can be

Something being bollocks means it's shit
Someone talking bollocks means they are talking crap

Being knackered means they are tired out, sleepy or exhausted
My presumption being related to horses/mules retiring to the knackers yard in old age after a life of servitude

tits/breasts/melons/jublies/crackers/rack/lungs/dumplings/jugs/fun bags all means a woman's chest ornaments

 

Now we have confused the poor boy. Information overload.
Regards
Joe.

 

Oh, more!
Boobies/baps/coconuts/milk monsters/the twins/the girls/the boys/puppies/maracas/jubly wublies/funbags/tatas/bazookas/knockers/shelf/air bags/hooters/pillows

But I think they are all universal

 

One I have heard that really annoyed me was what we Brits refer to as a hand brake in the car, Americans call the emergency brake!

 

Say the following slowly
Air
Hair
Lair

Now together
Air hair lair

Now quicker
Airhairlair

Now you sound like the queen of England... congratulations

 

Another couple
Piss poor - when you are so poor you piss in a pot and sold it to the tanner's for processing leather

So poor you haven't got a pot to piss in - in a worse state than being piss poor

 

That would be a womble ( mythical creature of Wimbledon) a top a Cockerel !

So in Engrish That's A Cockwomble !!!

Or a nasty little F#cker !

 

Kin Ton Ti
Don't follow me. I'm lost.
Regards
Joe.

 

Actually the history of our divorce is really quite interesting and the US remember it a bit differently to us and most of us here know next to nothing....

The first thing is to recognise how massively unpopular the war was here. Think Vietnam then some. There was huge UK sympathy to let the colonists go. We were far too busy dealing with France in Canada and India and elsewhere as well as concerns over their revolutionary contagion. The whole Boston Tea Party tax thing was to pay off debts from war with the French.

In terms of hostilities you then need to factor in the fact that Washington and his original British counterparts were members of the same Masonic lodges and friends. The war was initially prosecuted with limited zeal by them and they misled their headbanger replacements sent to up the pace. Again, no accident that the street plan of DC itself is full of Masonic symbology.

The War of 1812 was, for the British, about containment. All the stuff about stopping and searching US ships and pressing sailors into RN service was because our populations were then indistinguishable and plenty of our deserters claimed to be Americans. Then the Yanks were getting ideas about invading Canada.......you got a bit of a spanking from punitive raids (think ‘White’ House) and the bloody French were STILL causing trouble between us. Look how quickly we became friends once we got THEM out of the equation.

So, just go on believing you kicked George III’s butt but remember there were plenty over here who wanted to end the blood letting and utter pointlessness of war with friends. It also helped usher in democratic reforms over here.....our political representation improved quickly too.

 

Well thanks goodness for Callamity, I'll confess to knowing feck all about this bit of history, thanks for the enlightenment!
And I think Ron's history teachers didn't quite give him the full story either?