“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I yelled at my wife. “You’ve reversed the car over my motorbike!” “It’s your own fault,” she said. “You’re the one that left it in the shed.”
Yesterday I got stuck behind a young girl riding a horse. No matter what I did, I just couldn’t get past her. I was tooting my horn, and hanging out the window yelling at her. She still wouldn’t let me past. There was a guy on a motorcycle behind me and he was waving too. I was getting so wound up and frustrated. “It’s people like you that cause accidents!” I shouted. Eventually, I just couldn’t take any more so I looked around to make sure the coast was clear… … and then I jumped off the carousel.
"As a funeral director, I take every chance I get to tie the shoe laces together of the deceased. Because if there was ever a zombie apocalypse, it would be fucking hilarious!!"
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Yesterday I got stopped by the police. When the officer approached my window he said to me "papers?" I replied "scissors, I win!!" And sped off.
It probably was ! It was getting its revenge for the last 30 yes in captivity ! Liftings its foot was I remembered you you shit head look where you got ME ! Cheers capt.
It might have read better if they put "U" in front of R 1 it would then read U R 1 dude "poor excuse" ??? Cheers capt.
Donald Trump said he is building a wall on the Mexican boarder which is handy as the Mexicans are shiting bricks
