This made me laugh

Is that Chantelle on the bike? Looks like a candidate for eating lots of Wotsits

 

I applied for a job in a sandwich shop today. Unfortunately the roll had been filled.

 

Clearly this is a misogynist joke, and I only offer it as an example of the type of humor we should NOT be posting here.

There was a rumor that the beer companies were adding minute amounts of female hormones to their product. To test this, researchers assembled a group of men and had each of them drink twelve beers.

Sure enough, in short order some of the men became overly talkative, some became loud and bossy, and others became emotional and cried in their beer but all of them proceeded to go out and wreck their cars.

 

My four year old Grandson is a real chatterbox but he can’t say please in Spanish yet. That’s poor for four.

 

Blimey, Valentine’s Day, I’d forgotten all about that. Yet more commercialised crap to put up with.

 

It's amazing how couples who have been together for long periods of time know each other so well. I've been with Lori over fifty years. I have learned it's never necessary for me to have to preface anything I say to her with "Correct me if I'm wrong."

 

I don't mind battered women. I like fried foods!

 

A Honda mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Honda when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this.?"
The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the Honda.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in, and when I finished, it worked just like new.
So how is it that I make £24,000 a year and you make £1.7M when you and I are doing basically the same work.?"
The cardiologist paused, leaned over, and then whispered to the mechanic.... "Try doing it with the engine running!.

 

Do people in electric cars listen to AC/DC or something current?

 

A guy I used to work with got a parking ticket while parked for about 10 minutes. As he returned to his car he saw a uniformed figure walking away. He ran after him, caught him up and began calling him every nasty word you could think of.
The guy in the uniform calmly said, "I'm sorry you got a parking ticket, sir, but it's nothing to do with me. I'm in the Salvation Army"!