This made me laugh

Here in the Socialist Republic of New Jersey the law prohibits one from pumping their own gas (petrol to you foreign types) at a filling station. We may be the only state that still adheres to this policy. We are not trusted to work a fuel pump. Instead, they insist on leaving that highly complicated and dangerous task to a brain dead seventeen-year-old with facial tattoos and a nose ring do it for you. That is, unless you are on a motorcycle, in which case most attendants allow you to fill your own tank, especially if you threaten to kill them if they spill one drop of fuel on your tank.

Gas prices are high and rising here. Anyhow, I went to get some gas in the Explorer today.

Me: "$5.00 worth of regular, please."
Attendant: "Sorry, dude. I can't work the pump that fast."

 

Necessity, truly is the mother of invention.

Stopped at a light today and saw this flatbed next to me. Tail lights from an SUV of some sort?

 

.

 

Where is that mind bleach?

 

...you wait 'til he starts on this evenings bush-tucker trial!

*he's on "I'm a celebrity" this year....

 

Want to know who loves you more, your woman or your dog?

Lock them both in the trunk of your car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, see which one is happy to see you.

 

You woken up in a funny mood today @Vulpes ?

 

Yep!