A teacher asked her class how many of them were Jeremy Corbyn fans. Not really knowing what a Jeremy Corbyn fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands... except for Little Johnny. The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different...again. Little Johnny said, 'Because I'm not a Jeremy Corbyn fan.' The teacher asked, 'Why aren't you a Jeremy Corbyn fan?' Johnny said, 'Because I'm a Conservative.' The teacher asked him why he's a Conservative. Little Johnny answered, 'Well, my Mum's a Conservative and my Dad's a Conservative, so I'm a Conservative.' Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, 'If your Mum was a moron and your Dad was an idiot, what would that make you?' Little Johnny replied, 'A Jeremy Corbyn fan.'
I can't stand people who think they're worse off than everybody else! My mate Derek is brilliant. He had a bad car crash where he lost his voice and both his legs! Does he make a song and dance about it...? NO
Reminds me of a now deceased Thai restaurant formerly in Bramley, Surrey. They had their name ‘Patrie’ made up in carved wooden letters on display in a cabinet as you walked into the entrance lobby. Well, it was too hard to resist wasn’t it? They immediately got rearranged when the staff weren’t looking to RAT PIE... hilarious, especially in a Thai restaurant! I was giggling like a v naughty 5 year old. Sadly not 20 mins later a group of tipsy yoofs came in, saw the rat pie joke and laughed - for some damn stupid reason one of them changed it to something like TRIP AE!?! Not even funny. Even ATE RIP would have been better, but why change a masterpiece in the first place? F’king idiot. https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Resta...atessen-Guildford_Surrey_England.html?m=19907 Silly anecdote - I’ll go back to taking my meds...
Now there’s an idea for a separate silly thread, who can post the daftest pic from a store without spending the night in the cells.
A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK. THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE." THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT. THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT. THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE." THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON. THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE." HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS. "I TOLD HER, 'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO."
As a blonde I am deeply offended - we’re not stupid- that’s an unjust stereotype. Although to be fair, as I’m late for EVERYTHING, I’d have moved up to first class so that I could arrive earlier.
