I'm surprised it didn't come up with Middlesbrough, it's officially the biggest shithole in England according to government surveys, I sometimes work there and it's the only government survey I can actually believe.
I saw my mate Charlie this morning, he's only got one arm bless him. I shouted - "Where you off to Charlie?" He said, "I'm off to change a light bulb." Well I just cracked up, couldn't stop laughing, then said, "That's gonna be a bit awkward innit?" "Not really." he said. "I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard."