Me and the wife were in bed and had just made love when she suddenly started crying, I put my arm round her to comfort her and asked what the matter was “I wish I could feel like a teenager”she said, “don’t worry love” I said, “ you will do soon”
An Englishman, an Irishman, a Welshman and a Scot are captured by the Iraqis. The Iraq troop leader says, "we"re going to shoot you, but we will give you one last request." He says to the Welshman, "what"s your last request?"The Welshman says, "I want a thousand Welshman singing "Land of my Fathers".""Okay, you"ve got it. What about you?" he says to the Scotsman."I want a thousand Scots pipers piping Scotland the brave," says the Scot."You"ve got it" says the Iraqi. "What"s your last request?" he says to the Irishman."I want a thousand Irishman doing the Riverdance" says Paddy."It"s yours" says the Iraqi. Turning to the Englishman, he says, "and your last request?" The Englishman says, "shoot me first".